


Counting Seahorses To Fall Asleep

by talonyth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Merfolk AU, and merman donuts, i really just wanted to write merman kageyama, lots of mermen and donuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-16 05:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3475970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You are in the way.”</p><p>That is the first thing Kageyama says to him. Unspectacular. He doesn’t even say it, he grumpily mutters it. From that point on, Hinata forgets about Kageyama supposedly being some sort of mystical, fairytale being that isn’t supposed to exist, he just knows Kageyama is <i>the exact opposite of his beautiful outside.</i> Not to say incredibly rude.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'm laughing, nids' birthday was in november and i only got around posting her birthday fic now. incredible. so this is dedicated to lovely nids, i love you so so much and i am sorry i haven't gotten around finishing this faster. also while on the topic please look at [merman kageyama](https://twitter.com/im_not_crazy17/status/497085741130711040) drawn by [nids](https://twitter.com/im_not_crazy17) herself, i'm truly in love. 
> 
> i am a sucker for merfolk aus and this is going to be multichaptered. i hope you will enjoy it!

Hinata Shouyou, age 7, likes to dream about going on adventures. Enough for him to devour any story he hears bypassing travelers who come to the village he lives in. Enough for him to have read every single novel their village has to offer or the neighbouring villages, too. He has memorized all of them, sometimes mixes them up to make them sound more amazing than they actually are. 

Hinata Shouyou, age 16, is great at embellishing stories, pretending to have been the one experiencing them - but since everyone in the surrounding villages and his own know him, they are aware that he has never done any of the things he boasts about. When he was younger, he only got praise for the vast imagination contained in his small body but these days, the only person truly appreciating the tales he speaks about is his younger sister and even she wrinkles her nose at some and says they can’t possibly be true. 

Well, they aren’t. But that doesn’t keep Hinata from imagining they might be. Adventures full of big creatures called dragons or pretty maidens called fairies, he knows they sound ridiculous. He knows they don’t exist. Probably. Dragons and fairies and witches and merfolk. All these things and more, they all just exist in people’s fantasies. 

In reality, Hinata Shouyou, age 17, is the son of a simple fisherman living in a village by the sea and never set foot outside of it except for the close surroundings. As much as he wishes to go out and see the world as much it also frightens him. Very secretly, of course. He would never tell a soul that the thought of experiencing the tales he is so excited about instills fear in him. Not that they need to know seeing as he is just a small fry, he will never get the chance to leave anyway. Maybe it’s for the better. 

Especially when the same Hinata Shouyou, turning 18 on that very day, meets Kageyama Tobio, age unknown because according to him merfolk doesn’t do this weird age counting thing. In his words exactly, “What the fuck do you mean, ‘how old are you’, you humans are counting years? We only ever count seahorses when we can’t fall asleep. _That’s_ useful. Not counting years. ….What is a year, anyway?” Now this time, Hinata is sure people from his village won’t believe him because the way they meet is as unspectacular as it is surprising that something like mermaids and mermen actually exist.

Not that they ever believe him but this is particularly unbelievable as Hinata finds him curled up on a flat rock at the shore in the scorching sun. At first, he thought Kageyama might have had a sunstroke or felt sick so he rushed over to him, climbed the rock - and almost slipped off it when he saw. Like _an actual fishtail_. On an actually very human-looking torso. On an actually very handsome looking torso but that is beyond the point at the time.

Never mind his hair, the deepest shade of black Hinata has ever seen, never mind his skin, pale but not of a sickly kind but more ivory-coloured - unearthly, if Hinata were to describe it with the first words that came to his mind - never mind the arms looking strong and toned enough to rip a shark apart in a matter of seconds. Mind the fishtail. 

In the extremely hot and bright June sun, the scales of Kageyama’s tail reflect the light in all shades of blue and purple, light and seemingly translucent at the start of the tail on his hips but towards the end opaque and of a dark and full shade of purple, the fin spreading from the end like a fan in a lighter, almost violetish blue than the rest of his scales suggested. Hinata thinks Kageyama’s tail looks like an evening sky around 7pm in summer, not entirely dark because the sun is still scarcely visible with small, shining stars covering it all over already. 

“You are in the way.”

And that is the first thing Kageyama says to him. Unspectacular. He doesn’t even say it, he grumpily mutters it. From that point on, Hinata forgets about Kageyama supposedly being some sort of mystical, fairytale being that isn’t supposed to exist, he just knows Kageyama is _the exact opposite of his beautiful outside._ Not to say incredibly rude. 

“What?”

“You heard me, you are in the way. You block the sun. Get lost.”

Hinata means to make a comment about his name and blocking the sun but opts for something more simple. “What?”

More simple is an understatement. This whole situation is absolutely not how Hinata expected a meeting with a supposedly fantastical being to go. He is as dumbstruck as he anticipated to be if this would have ever happened to him but not because of what he is seeing. Not mainly, at least. 

“Are you deaf? I told you to get lost. Go away. Leave. Move anywhere else where you don’t block the sun for me.”

His voice is pleasant, at least that much, as is his appearance but his personality is positively one of the worst Hinata has ever had the bad luck to meet. 

“I am _not_ deaf and you are rude.” What a comeback. 

“If you hear me then why the fuck aren’t you moving away? Listen, human, I don’t have time for your shit. I happen to like this particular rock very much for my daily sunbath and I don’t need you to ruin it. So, _get lost_.”

During the entire conversation, Kageyama didn’t move an inch. He laid on the rock on his side, curled up, tail pulled to his chest as if he was sleeping, except his eyes were open from the second he spoke to Hinata. He can’t imagine how that is sunbathing, wouldn’t he need to do that on his back? Later, when Hinata asks about it, Kageyama simply replies “Tan? What’s that? I don’t want to roast, I just want a bit of sun. We don’t get much of that under the sea, you know.” Obviously. There is much more Kageyama tells him but that is after their extremely bad first meeting. 

“You are a merman.”

And then, Kageyama does move, turning slightly onto his back and propping himself up on his elbows to look Hinata into his eyes. Glaring, actually and Hinata definitely does not have the impulse to back away or almost slips off the rock for the second time that day. 

“Amazing. Congratulations. At least you can see. Now get. The Fuck. Out. Of. The Sun.” 

“You are a _rude_ merman at that.”

“I give as many shits about that as a shark gives a shit about algae. Which is none, if you don’t know. How many times do you make me repeat myself, get out---”

“Listen, isn’t this dangerous? Just laying out in the sun like this? I’m pretty sure you’ve been told not to do this.”

Kageyama stares at him, dismay not a word for what he tries to convey (and manages, Hinata feels intimidated) and lets out a sigh as gigantic as the ocean itself. “I’m pretty sure you’ve been told to get out of my way at least 5 times now and you still haven’t done it.”

Hinata opens his mouth but closes it a second later. He has a point there, rough or not so Hinata sits down and moves to Kageyama’s right for his shadow not to tower over him anymore. Plus, the possibility of slipping is drastically lower than in a standing position.

“ _Thank you_ , kind human, for finally granting me the sun I fucking deserve. Took you long enough,” he grunts as he slips back into his original, curled up position, making Hinata flinch as the tail grazes him slightly. ...It feels surprisingly hard. 

“If you had been nicer, I might have done it right away but now we will never know. And my name is Hinata, not human, by the way,” he says, bristling with anger, pulling his legs to his chest and trying not to stare at Kageyama but it is incredibly difficult. Impossible, actually. A merman, an actually real and living and breathing merman is lying next to him and he is absolutely gorgeous. Too bad his behaviour doesn’t match up. 

“I am nice when you don’t get in my fucking way, you dumbass.”

“Hinata. My name is Hinata.”

“Good for you.”

And then, there is silence. It makes Hinata feel uncomfortable. He expected the merman to give him his name - Kageyama, he will find out later, of course, but not yet. Instead the merman keeps quiet, breathing softly, almost one with the sea breeze rushing over the ocean. 

“You don’t wanna tell me your name? Do you merfolk not give names to each other?”

There is a grunt, Kageyama shifted, tail grazing Hinata again who jolts with a squeak at the feeling of the scales scratching along his arm. Does he do this on purpose…? 

“Be quiet.”

Hinata bites his lip in frustration. This guy is incredibly hard to handle but this is the first time he has ever met a merman. And who knows, that might mean that dragons and fairies and everything he has heard of exists too. The excitement within him keeps growing every second despite being silent. He fidgets, eyes roaming over the restless surface of the ocean covered in smaller waves crashing against the rocks. Hinata is tempted to let his legs dangle and the water hit his feet. How can this guy just lay in the sun like this…? How does this even work, doesn’t he dry out? Doesn’t he need water? Isn’t he going to die? Ugh, he is going to explode if he can’t say anything. 

“Hey, merman, have you ever been at the surface at night?”

No reply.

“Sometimes, in winter, when you look to the sky, there are lights covering it, they look like huge rainbow curtains! In all colours, from green to red to blue!”

There is a shift and again, he feels scales grazing against his arm again. Now he is pretty sure Kageyama does this on purpose, whatever that is supposed to be. 

“Do you want to know why?”

“What are curtains?”

Now that is a simple question, one that Hinata hasn’t expected but considering this is a merman and they don’t have cloth or any reason for curtains either - do they even have houses? - it isn’t an illogical one. 

“Mmmm, we need them when the sun is shining too brightly. They hang in front of the windows in our houses. They are made of cloth and they can either still let a little sun through but sometimes they are also so thick that it seems like it is night!”

“Don’t you humans like the sun?” Another shift. Hinata swears Kageyama moves in closer.

“No, we love the sun. It’s just that it isn’t good for us when it’s too much. It burns our skin and makes it itchy and red. ….And sometimes it’s annoying when it’s too bright.”

“Mmmm.” There is a hum and when Hinata turns his head to the side, Kageyama’s much closer to him than expected. He turned over onto his stomach, propped on his elbows and looking up to Hinata sitting next to him. They look like… sapphires. Holy shit. Sapphires inlaid in his eye sockets. And now Hinata can see the scales that cover his shoulders and the crook of his neck. The same colour as the ones on his tail. Jewels covering him entire. Hinata tries to hide his fascination. “So. What about those lights?”

“Huh?”

“The rainbow lights. Why are they there?”

“Fairies! They are flying through the sky on certain nights and the dust they emit covers the sky in all colours. It’s really pretty.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow. “What are fairies?”

“Forest spirits! They live in forests and take care of it and sometimes they have to wander to other forests because of the seasons changing. That’s why when it’s winter, you always see the rainbow lights called aurora because the fairies move forests, then.” Hinata lets his feet dangle off the rock and wriggles his toes. The waves smash against the rock harder than before, covering Hinata’s feet in water. It’s pleasantly cold. 

“What’s winter?”

“...When it’s really cold outside?”

“Oh. That’s the cold season? You have a name for that?”

“Well, yeah. What do you call summer? I mean the season right now?”

“Sun season.”

“And autumn? When it rains a lot?”

“Storm season.”

“What about spring?”

“Mating season.”

Hinata almost slips off the rock _for the third damn time_ and he knows he doesn’t plan on dying on his birthday so he pulls back his legs to his chest. Mating season, huh. 

“There is also the warm season, though. That’s, like, before the sun season starts.”

“So you have 5 seasons? Which one is your favourite?”

“Sun season.”

“When is your birthday?”

“...What is a birthday?”

Hinata shrieks when he feels something running down his back, turning around quickly to realize it is Kageyama’s fin tracing down his back. Is he… Is he…Is this… what, actually? What the hell is this whole tail grazing him thing? 

“Ah, my bad. I was just curious how humans felt. You are warm.”

“With your _tail_?”

Kageyama shrugs. “The most sensitive part of my body is my fin so I can feel best with it.”

“...Oh. That actually makes sense. Are all your nerves down there?”

Confusion is stuck to Kageyama’s face and Hinata realizes that even though they speak the same language - how, actually? He should ask later - there are things he can’t possibly know. 

“Don’t know what nerves are but I feel best with it. Are all humans warm?”

“Yeah. Though we also go cold sometimes, especially when it is cold outside. But generally, humans are warm! ...Aren’t you?”

“Depends on my surroundings, I guess. Am I?” And then, Kageyama stretches out his hand. Hinata stares at it for a second straight but grabs it eventually. ...It is warm. He did say it depends on his surroundings and he sat in the sun for God knows how long. His hand feels rough on the tips and instinctively, Hinata turns it around to look at it. Scales. His fingertips are covered in scales. 

“What?” Kageyama stares at their hands linked, almost analyzing Hinata’s movements. His interest seems piqued, eyes lightened up as opposed to his initially blunt behaviour.

“Just look, our hands look so different,” Hinata says and stretches out his other hand, Kageyama grasping it somewhat roughly, pulling at his fingers and staring at them. 

“They are small,” Kageyama states and Hinata feels incredibly offended that this is the first thing he notes. “...How can you hunt with hands this small? There are also no scales… can you retract your claws?”

“Claws? I don’t have claws. No human has claws unless they don’t cut their nails.”

Kageyama stares at Hinata in disbelief, almost offended. “No claws? Do you have teeth? Like sharks?”

“No.”

“...But how do you hunt?”

“With weapons.”

Hinata has never had anyone stare at him with as much terror in his face as Kageyama does in that very moment. “Oh but actually, humans don’t hunt much anymore these days. We keep animals at home and raise them and once they are old, we butcher them. Except for fishing, there we use nets to capt---”

He bites his tongue as he realizes he talks to someone who is half a fish and probably affected by the fact that humans kill beings that are very close to them. 

“Ah, yes. I remember. My older brother told me humans use nets to catch fish and that we shouldn’t go to the surface because we could get caught up in the nets too.”

“Well… yeah. I suppose.” 

The silence from before is back, both holding each other’s hands, Kageyama lightly squeezing Hinata’s and examining them with the curiosity Hinata had originally expected to see. It is awkward but at least the mood is not as hostile as it used to be before.

“...You didn’t tell me what a birthday was.”

“It’s the day you were born. Humans celebrate it every year. We count the number of years we have lived and then we have a party and everyone tells the birthday person ‘Happy birthday’. ...Actually, today is my 18th birthday so this is the 18th year I have lived. So? How old are you?”

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘how old are you’, you humans are counting years? We only ever count seahorses when we can’t fall asleep. _That’s_ useful. Not counting years. ….What is a year, anyway?” 

By the time the sun sets, Hinata has explained to Kageyama what a year is, what months there are, how seasons are divided, that trees look different each season and he can’t help but tell Kageyama stories, the stories no one believes anymore - but Kageyama does who looks incredibly disappointed when Hinata tells him he has to leave. 

“Will you come back?”

“You wanted me to leave in the morning and now you want me to stay?” Hinata teases as he stands up. His knees hurt from sitting the entire day - his butt too - but he can’t stop smiling anyway. Despite the rough start, the day has been one of the best ones in his life. If not the very best entirely. 

“Shut up, you dumbass.” Hinata doesn’t see the pout on Kageyama’s face but he can imagine it all too well.

“Since I won’t be going on any adventures soon, I will have plenty of time to come and talk to you. I’m still not sure if you should hang around the surface so much, though. They fish a lot around the area.”

“This rock has been my spot for a while and no one noticed me nor did I get caught so don’t tell me what to do.” 

“I noticed you.”

“Fuck off.”

“ _Rude._ ” Hinata climbs down the rock and feels, for the last time that day, Kageyama’s fin running down his back. It makes him shiver but he is used to it now. Sort of. He hears a splash behind him and when he turns around, he can see Kageyama’s head popping out of the water. 

“Kageyama.”

“What?”

“My name. It’s Kageyama Tobio. And happy birthday. That’s what you humans say, right? You said so before.”

Hinata doesn’t know what to reply but he can’t suppress the urge to laugh. This is the first time Hinata Shouyou, age 18, meets merman Kageyama Tobio, age unknown, but it is by far not the last time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay here we go, i woke up this morning to [this beautiful illustration](http://talk-to-the-fish.tumblr.com/post/113152396291/talonyths-got-such-a-pretty-description-of) of merman kageyama drawn by [the equally beautiful fish](http://talk-to-the-fish.tumblr.com) and i felt so inspired that i had to finish the chapter today. i hope you will like it even if it is a bit of a mess here and there!

Unsurprisingly, the temperatures have risen since Hinata’s birthday, the start of July being one of the hottest ones the boy ever experienced. He finished his chores back at home at the speed of light, helped his father out weaving new nets because the old ones had been ripped apart (and Hinata’s first impulse was definitely not thinking it might have been a caught up merman doing that) and rushed right out of the door to the beach. 

It has been roughly a week and a half ever since he has met Kageyama, a rude merman with an innocent streak of curiosity who seemingly enjoys to listen to Hinata’s made-up stories. Somehow, in his presence, Hinata feels like he did experience fights against dragons, meeting with fairies, wrestling with a minotaur, things that are far out of his reach. But Kageyama’s eyes lighten up at the words he speaks and the actions he describes and Hinata is certain he has never had a better audience. 

He asks a lot, that Kageyama. Of course he does. And the most trivial things too. When Hinata tells him about how he has climbed a mountain and a harpy almost chewed his rope through because he was intruding her territory, Kageyama much rather asks why you would need a rope to climb a mountain rather than what a harpy is. Sometimes Kageyama asks things on his own as well, based on what he sees in the rare occasions he pays attention to his surroundings. 

“What are those weird four-legged things called that hunt for fish all the time at shore? They make these odd noises like,” and Hinata tries very hard to suppress a laughter because Kageyama’s imitation of what he supposes to be a cat is absolutely terribly, “meeeeeeeowooooowwww. You know what I mean? They are covered in hair and they are scary. ....What’s with that dumb face of yours?”

Hinata looks over to Kageyama and he is _scowling_. It is fascinating how quickly Hinata has gotten used to it already. It still looks as if Kageyama is ready to rip him apart and he does feel a little uneasy considering he bites his lip already not to burst out in laughter but Hinata knows Kageyama is not much of a danger. Rude, yes, scary, sometimes, but not exactly dangerous. 

“S-Sorry,” he replies with raspy voice, and God, it’s still shaking, he really wants to laugh but the chances that Kageyama would be dangerous then are enormously high, “...you mean cats?”

“Cats. Huh. I don’t like them.”

Factual. Hinata is still amazed at the fact that mermen resemble sailors much more than the fantastical beings they are said to be - at least in terms of behaviour. A thing Hinata has not entirely gotten used to yet is Kageyama’s appearance. 

Over the course of this week and a half, Hinata has talked a lot, told lots of stories but also always kept an eye on Kageyama and his reactions. And found out that his gills are behind his ears, covered in scales that are much darker than the ones on his tail and parts of his body. They are closed when at the surface, though. Kageyama explained to him that it just sort of happens automatically as soon as they come out of the water. 

Another thing is Kageyama’s hair that never seems to be wet even when he freshly pops his head out of the water. Hinata has been dying to touch it to see how it feels like, remembering that ducks are sort of the same. They dive but once they surface, their feathers feel dry because of some kind of oil or whatever, Hinata doesn’t remember that particular detail very well. ...But touching him like that is--- 

And there he goes again, Kageyama’s fin grazes along his back like it has become a habit past these days for him to do it and suddenly, touching his hair doesn’t seem as awkward anymore. It’s not like Kageyama doesn’t keep on doing the same. It doesn’t feel bad but his fin is cold and it never seems to warm up. Plus, it’s rather hard despite its fragile and almost delicate appearance and flexibility. It startles Hinata most of the times, that’s all. 

“My temperature won’t change, Kageyama,” he says, feet dangling off the rock. Same rock as every day, simply because Kageyama is adamant about his sunbath. He indeed hasn’t gotten a sunburn yet and Hinata wonders if that is even possible for merfolk. Probably not. 

“I know. You’re not me.” 

“You said you do this because you want to know how humans feel a week ago but you still keep doing this.” The fin reaches the crook of Hinata’s neck and he has difficulties keeping a straight face. Kageyama is probably enjoying this. This is very likely. 

“You are warm.”

“We had that already.”

“I like warmth. That’s all.”

The merman is turning from his stomach onto his side, tail curling around Hinata’s back. More than like a fish’s tail, it feels sort of like what Hinata imagined a dragon’s tail to feel like. The scales are rough and dry and suddenly Hinata thinks they don’t just look like jewels. They also feel like them. Merfolk skin must be pretty thick if the tail itself is so hard but then how is it possible for it to be so pliable? What about bones? Perhaps they don’t have any. Or perhaps they are just not as hard as human bones are. 

“You… don’t think it could bother me?”

“Huh? Bother? Well, does it?” Kageyama’s voice wields genuine surprise. 

“Not really but---”

“Then why the fuck should I think about that? You humans always think about useless things, don’t you? Like this age thing or stuff like that.”

For a second, Hinata remembers the things he thought about not even minutes ago and with a smirk says, “True. We do. But I guess if we wouldn’t think as much, we wouldn’t be human.”

Kageyama looks at him, eyelids half-open but he doesn’t say anything. Considering he isn’t human himself, what is he supposed to say? Even if Hinata has been here every day the past week and a half, there is still so much he doesn’t know about Kageyama. Things he doesn’t understand. And he is aware that this is mutual.

From the corner of his eyes, Hinata - as always - peeks over to Kageyama, watching his movements. Not that there are many, he is mainly lazing around in the sun and absorbing the warmth but even as much as watching him breathe feels like a little adventure when Hinata watches the scales on his shoulders and the upper part of his chest move along with every breath he takes, making his scales reflect the light differently. Sometimes they look purple, sometimes blue, rarely kind of turquoise even. They seemingly change colours and it makes Hinata wonder what their original colour would look like. 

Kageyama shuffles closer to him, his torso curling around him much like his tail is, resting his head on Hinata’s lap. Even though he doesn’t like cats, Kageyama does behave like one right now, nestling up to him and sticking close to---- Holy shit. 

“W-what are you doing?” Hinata tries not to sound like he panics but as much as Kageyama is half a fish, he is also half a human. A very attractive upper half of a human. 

A glare from the corner of Kageyama’s eyes makes him shudder. “Taking a sunbath? What the fuck have I been doing all this time?”

“...Yeah but. What’s… you know… your head…?”

“...?”

“It’s on my lap?”

“...So?”

Kageyama has never looked more confused than now and that means something when he is always confused about something that makes perfect sense to Hinata but not to him. Hinata stares into his eyes and God, this was a terrible idea, this just flusters him more. As if it’s not hot enough. Then again, this doesn’t mean much to Kageyama. It’s just the position most comfortable to him. If he doesn’t pay it any mind, why should Hinata?

“...You’re like a merman donut around me now,” Hinata says to calm himself down. Actually, if Kageyama would bend his tail a little more, he could easily wrap around him. He is larger than Hinata originally thought, on first sight at least. 

“...Merman what?”

“Donut. Oh, right, you don’t know what a donut is.” Hinata takes a little to properly explain the gift of the gods that donuts are. “...It’s a sort of pastry that is in form of a ring about this size.” 

He forms a circle with his hands and Kageyama’s eyes, wide open now, glisten with curiosity again. Of all looks on his faces, curiosity is Hinata’s favourite. Kageyama’s features go soft then, with eyebrows raised, mildly puzzled expression but thrilled to receive a reply and there is a subtle hint of excitement that reminds Hinata of a child’s. It’s… lovely. 

“Pastry?”

“Mmmm, that’s something made from dough, then baked and--- you know what, I will bring you donuts tomorrow!”

Kageyama’s eyes lighten up, a sparkle in them that rivals the one his scales reflect, tail tensing up at his back. He might be half-fish but this is definitely a more cat-like behaviour than Kageyama might like. 

“...Oh but are you even allowed to eat donuts?” Hinata says, remembering that, well, he has never seen a fish eating donuts before. “I don’t know, maybe you get sick from them. Or what if you can’t digest them?”

It’s as if Kageyama deflates, eyes darkening back to how they always are and his signature pout on his face. He wears this one a lot, especially when he is thinking about how to say something. “The fuck. I can eat anything.”

“But you are a fish?”

“I’m _not_ a fish. Don’t throw me into one shell with those weak-ass losers. I say I can eat anything.”

“And I say you probably can’t. Like it’s probably bad that you are even here, talking to a human.”

Then, for the first time, Hinata sees an expression on Kageyama’s face he hasn’t seen before. His eyebrows are creased, the look in his eyes firm and full of… something Hinata doesn’t find another word for than disappointment. And it’s clearly not over a donut. 

“Because you know _so much_ about my kind. Before we met you didn’t even know we existed but now you know what we can eat? You know that I am not allowed to be up here? That I am not allowed to talk to humans? Don’t try to apply rules to me you have heard in fucking legends told by humans that have seen as much as the tail of something they might have considered to be one of us.”

When the feeling of something leaning against his back disappears, Hinata realizing Kageyama moved his tail and himself further away, he feels his insides clenching.He looks over to Kageyama, laying on his stomach now, his head turned away from Hinata, leaning onto his arms. 

Kageyama is right, how can he know what merfolk can or can’t eat? How is he supposed to know whether donuts are good or bad for them? He doesn’t even know what they eat altogether. Doesn’t know if they eat for fun or just to survive, doesn’t know if they are only hunters or whether they have to fight for their lives in order to get something to eat. He doesn’t know if they have houses underwater and whom they live with nor if they prefer to be alone or with their own kind. If they have something like cities, something like Atlantis maybe or just swim around in swarms like some species of fish do. If they have something like merfolk wars among each other or live in harmony. He doesn’t even know how much merfolk there is.

Suddenly, Hinata remembers having seen glimpses of the same expression on Kageyama’s face before this. Only bits and pieces though, minor shifts of his face, whenever he told him not to swim too close to the surface, to be careful to hide behind the rocks, to dive down if he notices something. Hinata had been sure to have read merfolk tries to keep hidden from humans. It’s the reason why humans treat them as nonexistent but… perhaps it is different. And perhaps Hinata refused to listen simply because because it would destroy his impression of what merfolk should be. 

He reaches out and touches Kageyama’s hair, more on impulse than anything else, and surprisingly, it feels soft. Not oily, maybe thicker than human hair does but not like duck feathers feel like, at least. Not like his expectations. Nothing has been like his expectations so far except for the outer appearance. So why does he still try to apply them? Kageyama is like one of the lucky bags they give out to the children on summer festivals. Merfolk in general is. 

“...Do you want a chocolate donut or one with frosting?”

There is no reply but that was to be expected. There is not even the slightest reaction to his hand in Kageyama’s hair. 

“I guess you don’t know what either of those are so I will bring you both.”

He keeps quiet but from the corner of his eyes, Hinata sees a slight movement. The tail swings from one side to the other, scratching over the surface of the rock. 

“I prefer those with frosting but it depends what kind it is. In summer, they usually have lemon-frosted donuts. They are my favourite! They remind me of the golden bracelets I got when I got to the White Forest, do you remember, where the unicorns lived? Too bad I lost it.”

There are scales on Kageyama’s back but not grouped like on his shoulders or his neck. Individually, in different colours. Perhaps they are a little like birthmarks for humans except much prettier. He runs his fingers through Kageyama’s hair and slides his hand down his back over the million small gem-like scales covering his skin. 

As if to reciprocate, the familiar feeling is back on Hinata’s spine, a fin gliding down his back though much softer than before. Rather than for the sake of warmth, touching him with slightly more force, it feels like Kageyama is stroking his back. It is an oddly pleasant sensation. 

“So you’ll bring me donuts?” The cold tone of his voice from earlier is gone entirely but he has yet to look up again. 

“Yup.” 

“Your favourites?”

“Yup.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Kageyama peeks up doubtfully and wrinkles his nose. “You better.” 

Hinata hasn’t noticed when Kageyama shuffled closer again but his head is back on Hinata’s lap, his tail snuggling up to his lower back, the exact same merman donut position he had before and it makes Hinata certain that in fact, Kageyama did not have any other motive for being upset than the goddamn donut. What an idiot. And him being even more of an idiot, obviously, thought too much of it. ‘You humans always think about useless things, don’t you?’ is what Kageyama said earlier. He seems to know much more about humans than Hinata knows about merfolk. Thinking seems like the worst possible thing to do when in Kageyama’s presence. Probably because he doesn’t do it either. 

“So what’s your favourite food, Kageyama?”

“Tunas. Of all sorts. I also like morays though but they are hard to hunt and it’s usually not worth the hassle. You know which fish tastes amazing? Clown fish. They think they won’t get eaten because of their colours but I’m not stupid enough to believe they are truly poisonous.”

“They aren’t?”

“Not for us. Don’t know about you humans but I don’t think you eat them.”

“...I think we usually rather keep clown fish as pets. They are pretty.” Hinata’s hand wanders back into Kageyama’s hair. On instinct, he swears. 

Kageyama raises his eyebrow and huffs. “They are arrogant assholes, those tiny fucks. You should listen to them, they think we can’t hear them because they hide in their anemones but let me tell you, you grab into an anemone once and you get three of them because they are so stupid to chatter rather than run away.”

Amongst all stories to hear in his life, even the fairy tales written in books old as the world itself, Kageyama’s rant about clown fish must be the most unbelievable. 

“Wait, you understand them?” Hinata says before he grasps the part that doesn’t make sense to him. “...Wait, fish speak? They don’t make any noise though?”

“You just can’t hear it. I don’t think you humans are capable of hearing the ocean language.”

“I can hear dolphins and whales.”

“Oh, but they don’t speak the same language. Not entirely, at least. Dolphins think they have to have their slang going on. Plus, they aren’t fish, you know.”

“But you understand them anyway?”

“It’s difficult but yeah. Same with whales though they usually… just wail. And complain.”

Whales wail. Incredible. Hinata is barely able to say anything to this.

“About what?”

“About everything.” The tail at his back moves again, seemingly more relaxed than before, Kageyama lets it hang over the edge of the rock but it is like glued to the side of Hinata’s leg. He certainly likes this sort of contact. A fan of skinship. Hinata notes it in his inner notebook full of merfolk information as he should have ages ago. It was never much of a secret. “Too little food, too much food, too many enemies, no fun, they basically complain about everything. Well, not all of them. Orcas are pretty cool, they gang up a lot with us for hunting. Whale sharks are also cool but that’s because they are more sharks than whales. ...Well, they are sharks but you get the idea.”

“So you like sharks. But you said you ate sharks before.”

“...?”

Hinata and Kageyama look at each other for a second before Hinata realizes how idiotic the question has been. He likes pigs and cows too but he still doesn’t pass on eating pork or beef. Must be even more difficult in an environment where you hunt it yourself. “Never mind, so you get along with sharks?”

Kageyama nods and there is a smirk on his face. “They are great buddies. Don’t leave you hanging when you are out there.”

“Huh. Who would have thought.” He ruffles Kageyama’s hair and grins. “One day you will have to introduce me to them. They sound cool. ...Unless they try to eat me, that’d be less cool.”

“Well, it’s a possibility. It’s kind of a risk you have to take. Not like you can do anything about it. If a shark is hungry, a shark is hungry. That goes for any of us. Isn’t it the same for you humans?”

He ponders on how to reply to Kageyama so he can make sense of it, fingers lost in strands of hair so black the sun doesn’t reflect a speck of light on it. “Hm. It is, kind of. We eat whatever is closest but… Hm. I don’t really know, actually. I suppose if we would live under the same circumstances as you, hunting and being hunted, that sort of thing… we would probably also do it the same way.”

A deep sighs leaves Kageyama’s mouth and the end of his tail wraps around Hinata’s ankle. “...You humans, I swear, you are so weak. The only reason you are still alive is because you are smart and sneaky with your metal weapons and ships and nets and all the sort. If you were to be left alone, you would be useless. You have neither claws nor teeth sharp enough to hunt. Your builds are small,” and Hinata ignores the sharp look Kageyama gives him, “your skin too soft and your limbs too weak.”

For a bit, Hinata decides to keep quiet, listening to seagulls screaming and fighting at the shore. There is no wind today, no waves, no water tickling his soles. Despite Kageyama being so close to him, he doesn’t feel uncomfortably hot. Perhaps he took up the same temperature as Hinata. ...He is sure it doesn’t work like that, in hindsight. 

“Hey Kageyama. Do you also eat humans? Your kind, I mean.”

It’s a question he has been wondering about ever since he met Kageyama and he said it himself. If hunger hits him, it might as well when a human is around him. There is no doubt Kageyama or any merman could overpower a human easily.

“Hm. I haven’t heard of any of us having done that but the sirens do, for sure. They are mad scary. Not even I want to meet them and we are of the same kind.”

“...Sirens? The female version of mermen? I always thought that would be mermaids.”

“I think you humans called us ‘mermen’ mermaids originally. One of my brothers used to be good friends with a human who called him a mermaid. Back then, he used to have long hair so that human must have thought he is a female. Apparently for you humans long hair equals females but it is not the same for us.”

“Oh, so do you usually have long hair? Because yours is pretty short,” Hinata says and looks at the strands caught up between his fingers. Kageyama doesn’t seem to mind it at all. If anything, he seems more relaxed than before, his voice uncharacteristically calm as he keeps on answering Hinata’s questions. 

“It gets in the way. We usually cut our hair unless it is mating season. During that period, it grows pretty fast and it’s a bother to cut it but we usually don’t hunt so we don’t need it to be short.”

“You don’t hunt over an entire season? But how do you survive?”

“We feast before we depart to the middle of the oceans where the sirens live. That gives us enough energy for the way there but once we arrive, the sirens take care of hunting and bring us food so we don’t have to. ...Ah, but some of us return with long hair and keep it that way for a while even when it’s not mating season. Guess it’s preference or laziness or something like that. At some point, my brother said it was ‘fashionable’ to have long hair.”

Despite his appearance, Kageyama doesn’t seem to give looks any importance at all. Well, he can afford thinking like that. Unfair. 

“Really? Huh… but that means, males and females don’t live together, right? These sirens sound pretty scary but you have to go and see them anyway?”

“ _Mad scary_ ,” Kageyama says and Hinata swears he feels him shudder, “You don’t want to meet a siren in your life, they are brutal. Their order is also much stricter than ours and they tend to kill each other more than we do. What can you do though, it’s part of our life even though it is a huge hassle.”

A huge hassle. He doesn’t sound like he enjoys the entire process of the mating season. Kind of understandable for Hinata, he would hate that sort of ritual. Even though he has no idea how mating is even supposed to work. He didn’t pay much attention to biology class in school aside from the fact that he doubts he missed the part where merfolk mating had been explained. 

Which also means that at some point, Kageyama would leave for a while. It’s too early to think about that. Mating season, according to Kageyama’s calendar, would be around February or March. It’s July. And they don’t even know each other for that long either, what is he even imagining? It’s odd though, how quickly you get used to someone. 

“Hey Hinata.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“Tell me about that gryphon thing. Last time you started, but then you had to leave and I kept missing my prey because I didn’t know what the fuck a gryphon was.”

Hinata snorts and earns one of those glares he would rather avoid getting ever again. “Hehe, that’s a pretty cool story, it was definitely worth the thoughts you put into it.”

He starts talking, about a forest that never existed, a sea that he never swam in and a gryphon he never rode nor saw in his life. But Kageyama, with eyes closed, listens to him and he occasionally asks. And somehow, Hinata feels as if Kageyama knows that all of this is just a fabricated world despite his little knowledge about the human world yet enjoys the story anyway. And for a audience like this, Hinata would talk until his voice goes hoarse and his throat bloody. 

A fabricated world for a world that could be a legend itself. Kageyama’s stories for Hinata’s in exchange. He knows it is much to wish for and far too early but Hinata feels like he doesn’t want this to end. Not by the time his mind is too blank and exhausted to come up with more stories nor by the time he knows every tiniest detail about Kageyama’s world. 

In a perfect world, one that he creates with his words and his voice, Hinata would let this go on forever. But this is his story, one he has no saying in, one he experiences as a role not a creator and there has never been a time this frightened him more than now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hm, i think what hinata is scared of is the uncertainty kageyama's world leaves him with. he has fun right now, right here but he is scared that the tiniest thing could wreck this - for him - perfect moment. i guess he thinks about really unnecessary and useless things again, as kageyama said. he'll probably get scolded for this next time in the utmost rudest way kageyama can think of. 
> 
> oh and yes, the only reason kageyama got so upset in the middle of this is because hinata didn't want to feed him donuts. honestly. there has never been a worse reason for an almost fight but he's an idiot, even in this au. here, the [proof that merman donuts exist](https://twitter.com/Butsu_kun/status/619247159498698752) but also a [v beautiful illustration of kageyama](https://twitter.com/Butsu_kun/status/576034896084348928) by my darling [quinn](https://twitter.com/Butsu_kun/)!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time since the last update, i hope you all enjoy!

“Haven’t you been eating quite enough donuts lately?” 

Hinata is tempted not to reply because he knows he isn’t eating the donuts himself but what is he supposed to tell his father? That he is buying them to feed a hungry merman with them? Not to say he has spent his entire allowance of July and August on them. Kageyama better be grateful. 

“Ahhh, come on, Dad. I’m just really craving them after I help you out. That’s always so much work in this weather,” he whines and he thanks every deity up in the sky that he has a talent for making up stories after all. Certainly, he isn’t proud of lying to his own father of all people but better safe than sorry. Telling a fisherman that merfolk exists is like telling a paparazzi where a celebrity couple is currently smooching. Even if it’s his own dad. 

“Alright, but donuts? Son, they are too heavy in this heat. You should be eating fish. It’s light, healthy and you live much longer if you eat a considerable amount of it. Plus, it keeps the hunger away.”

“I’m eating fish every waking second of my life, Dad. You’re a fisher. Everyone here is a fisher. Like, we don’t ever eat anything else but fish in all sorts of variants. Can you really blame me for wanting donuts?”

“You’ve been eating them everyday for more than a month now,” his father replies bluntly and Hinata means to retort something but nothing clever comes to his mind. Except for, “Well, at least it’s sweet. Sugar means more energy! That’s good, right?”

His father, a middle-aged man looking far younger than his actual age, light brown hair bleached by the sun enough to appear blond even and a build just a little broader and taller than Hinata’s, he is a really great dad, Hinata thinks. And he knows, wouldn’t he have read so much and heard so much from people visiting the village, he would want to be just like him. But there are much more possibilities. ...Outside of the village, that is. 

“As long as you don’t forget to drink something and not stay in the sun too long. I will need you tomorrow too,” he says and ruffles Hinata’s hair. It almost makes him feel guilty for thinking he really wants to leave. Even more now that he knows that beings such as Kageyama exist. ...But if he would leave he wouldn’t be able to see him anymore. Kageyama. He wouldn’t be. 

His parents would still be here, his sister too maybe, it wouldn’t be that much trouble but Kageyama? He’d still be out in this same ocean, for sure, he did say he isn’t living far away from the shore as all mermen do. But it’s not like they have appointments. It’s always been the same rock, and Kageyama would just be there but what if he isn’t anymore? Like when it’s cold, or when it’s mating season, and Hinata wouldn’t know when to come and see him again. Less even if he would leave. He could tell Kageyama, but they don’t count days. Don’t count weeks and months and years. They don’t have hours and clocks, they wouldn’t be able to meet anymore except by chance. Much, much less if Hinata decides to leave. Maybe Kageyama would even forget. Hinata is just a human after all. 

“Don’t pout now, Shou. It’s the last days of summer, fishing will be hard in autumn with all the storms going on. I’ll let you off then. Though at your age I was already fishing even in winter.”

“I know,” Hinata murmurs and he can’t quite get the monotony out of his voice. He might be a good liar but he isn’t a very good actor. He’s sure his father caught on his plans for a while now but he has never said a word to Hinata about it. Never mentioned it either. And Hinata, he simply avoids the topic. He could say he wants to go out and see the world but how would he do that? He is just a small fry from an even smaller village. In a big world like that--- It’s odd how much he wants to leave but not leave at all at the same time. “I’ll be home in the evening,” he says and parts with his father. 

He is, as he promised, and for the first time he brings a full pack of donuts back home. He waited for Kageyama, for the first time he was at the rock first, and waited, and waited even more, until the sun set, and another first time there, Kageyama didn’t come up to the surface. 

It isn’t just one day. The next one, the one after that, the one after a lot, Kageyama simply doesn’t appear anymore. Hinata is already stacking the donuts in his room, he makes sure to buy a few less every day because he can’t eat all of them by himself. 

Kageyama, a merman who loves nothing more than the burning heat of the sun on his thick skin and the taste of lemon-frosted donuts, doesn’t come up to the surface on the last few days those donuts will still be offered, on the last and positively hottest days Hinata experienced this year. And it hits Hinata harder than he expected.. 

It’s alright on the first day, he thinks Kageyama might be hanging with some sharks, gone out hunting for a little too long although he said before he doesn’t need much to eat during sun season, he’d rather spend his time basking in the sunlight. (He omits to say he feels plenty full thanks to 6 donuts a day.) 

The second day, it feels a little weird. He has gotten into a routine, he has even looked up some new myths to warp and twist so it wouldn’t sound the same to Kageyama. He also ate a donut too much the evening before and feels, even though he doesn’t like to admit that his dad was right, a little too heavy. It’s the first time he notices the colours of the sky changing, light blue fading into all gradients of orange, red and pink before ending in purple and turning all dark, stars sprinkled on the sky like chocolate crumbles on a freshly made cake. Luckily, his mum sighs over not having enough ingredients to make a chocolate lemon cake. He’s busy enough catching up with another pack of donuts that hasn’t been eaten. 

When an entire week passes without a single sign of Kageyama anywhere, Hinata is sure something must have happened. In the worst case, the sharks did get hungry and--- never mind, Kageyama didn’t seem as weak and he bragged about how he could take on two sharks if they pissed him off. He probably didn’t get eaten. But what if he got caught? 

No, he thinks, probably not, the gossiping and chattering about a merman caught would have been huge and he spent the mornings helping out his father yet heard nothing of something like that. If he’d yell it out into the village, that he knows a merman and that he misses him, really, the whole village would just sigh and shake their heads at him. Like always. But then what? 

He could have simply gotten bored but would he really let the warmth slide for that? Would he miss out on donuts for that? What if now is mating season? But Kageyama did say it followed up storm season for them, it followed the cold season, even. ...What if clown fish are poisonous for them after all and Kageyama ate one too many and now he has gotten sick? 

Like Hinata knows if merfolk even gets sick. Like he knows where Kageyama lives. Even if he would, he wouldn’t be able to reach him. Kageyama did say he lived far enough under the water for the sun not to shine strong enough sometimes. Which was considerably deep down the ocean. 

They never had an appointment. And Hinata thinks that perhaps, this all just wasn’t of any importance to Kageyama like it was for him. He remembers now that he really is just a human, that Kageyama would meet others, lots of them, over the span of his life time. Maybe he just met someone else with better donuts and more warmth. And Hinata isn’t quite sure why that would bug him as much as it does. 

He’s curled up on the rock they always met on, a pack of 4 donuts next to him. Maybe Kageyama was just really busy over the week. With merfolk things. Spontaneously. Maybe something happened in his family too. Hinata can’t know any of this. They talked for almost two months but he finds he still knows nearly nothing about Kageyama after all. He indulged himself in telling stories so much and even though he asked so many things, he feels like he knows all the details he doesn’t need for a situation like now. 

His hand hangs over the edge of the rock, fingertips grazing over the surface of the water. It feels cool to him, indefinitely more soothing than the heat outside does. Do merpeople have jobs? Does Kageyama have one? Or is he in merfolk school? It doesn’t seem like something like that exists, considering Kageyama was always up here when Hinata arrived but maybe he was on sun season break? Then again, Kageyama never mentioned anything about a school or a job or anything at all except for hunting. It’s not like the human world at all and Hinata can’t make any sense of it. 

He’s treasured the times so much and he did think of them ending sometimes, and he remembers feeling… scared of that. Even though Kageyama was very different than what he imagined, Hinata still felt like it was one of his stories come true after all, like he wasn’t the big narrator of a thing that never happened for people to laugh at him anymore. 

A shadow towers over him as his mind is running wild in circles and his eyes zoom up automatically. It can’t be him, nothing jumped out of the water. 

And it isn’t. It is someone whose face Hinata hasn’t seen before. Not actively at least. No one from the village. “Are you okay?” he says and crouches down next to him. Short black hair, kind eyes, broad but not bulky build. “You seemed like you had collapsed up here.”

Funny. Hinata remembers he thought the same when he saw Kageyama the first time, curled up with eyes closed. The rocks hide a good part of what is happening from the wrong angle. Fishtails and the like. “I’m okay,” he replies but doesn’t sit up, instead looking at the man by turning his face towards him. The cold of the rocks is sure something, over the last week he came to understand why Kageyama chose this place to laze around even though he still doesn’t get how he could simply do nothing at all. Maybe he dreamed merfolk dreams. Maybe he just counted seahorses. Maybe he really did nothing but bathe in the sun. Who knows. 

“Ah, alright? Can you get up? Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay,” Hinata repeats and snickers. “I’m just sunbathing. I guess.”

“You guess? That’s vague,” the other says, a chuckle following right up. “It’s a rather special place for a sunbath.”

“Hm. Yeah, it probably is. I guess the peace is nice.”

“You guess again? You don’t sound sure of your own actions. You sure it’s no sunstroke?”

 _Maybe because they aren’t mine in the first place_ , Hinata thinks. They are Kageyama’s but mimicking him hasn’t brought Hinata a step closer to the answer why Kageyama is gone. Without a word, without a notice, without anything at all. He has no obligation, Hinata knows that but… what if something happened? “Yeah, I’m sure,” he says then and sits up. It feels odd when there is no merman curled around him, leeching off his warmth. Everything feels really odd. “Here,” he picks up the box of donuts and opens it, stretching it out to the stranger, “As thanks for worrying.”

“Whoa. Uh, thanks,” the other replies and sits down next to him, grabbing one of the donuts and taking a bite. Hinata really can’t figure out who this person is. Maybe someone who moved here? But there was no one like that recently. Hm. ...He could be a merman turned human. He read some stories going like that before. Now that would be--- No. He decides to ask, simple as that, taking a donut himself and gulping his bite down before speaking up. 

“So, um, who are you?” 

“Ah, right, you don’t know me. Thought maybe you heard of the weirdo going around bothering people lately. That’s me. Name’s Sawamura Daichi. Call me Daichi though,” the man replies, chewing on the small rest of his donut, feet dangling in the water. It doesn’t seem to faze him how his shorts are getting drenched from waves hitting higher than Hinata would have thought. Well, it doesn’t bother him either. 

“Cool, nice to meet you.” Hinata stuffs the last remains of his donut into his mouth and nods, staring at the surface of the water. “I’m Hinata.”

“Ah. That’s you. What a change of events, usually people have heard of me but this time, it’s me who heard of you.”

Hinata flinches and looks at Daichi, eyebrows raising automatically. He wished he could have reacted cooler like ‘Oh, you did, well of course you did’ or something like that but the surprise overwhelms him. “Heard… of me? What do you mean?” 

Someone he doesn’t know knows him. Maybe--- No, he definitely doesn’t know Kageyama. Daichi looks like a nice guy, thoroughly enjoying his donut and the water splashing his legs, he doesn’t look like the big mean type who collects merfolk bones to decorate his house with it. ...Or…

“The villagers told me. You see, I’m a marine biologist. I’m currently working here. Big parts of this coastal area remain undiscovered. We don’t know what species of fish and plants live here. Possibly the same as elsewhere but it’s also very possible that there are unique species native to this specific part of the coast. So my team and I are here to research this part for a little while and gather some information. We’ve been here for about a month, I think.”

Hinata nods and thinks he has heard the fishermen his father usually fishes with talking about something like that. He didn’t pay much attention, he was too busy thinking of new stories to tell Kageyama and digesting that Kageyama can look pretty scary with claws and teeth out. The day before, he came back from hunting before they met and apparently forgot to retract them. ...Certainly not as pretty as they are in their peaceful form. Definitely not. 

“That’s why I have been trying to ask the residents for information as well, whether they could tell me some details, history of this village and such but unfortunately it seems as though they aren’t very keen on talking to outsiders,” Daichi says and absent-mindedly looks at another donut. Hinata pushes the box towards him and he takes another with an appreciative smile. 

“Nah, they are… pretty closed up. In their eyes, people from the big city are just trouble. They disturb the peace they live in,” Hinata explains, grasping the last donut and managing to gulp it down in one bite albeit it hurts in his throat. Not a very good idea but the texture of donuts feels like a drag to chew at this point. 

“You don’t sound like you think the same.”

“I like people from outside of this village. They always have lots of stories to tell, lots of things to show. I like talking to them. They are interesting.”

Daichi smiles and Hinata feels like there is a meaning behind it but he opts not to ask. “Is it boring for you here?”

Nailed it. The only really interesting thing that has happened to him is meeting Kageyama and even that is gone now. He is gone. Somewhere else. Being busy doing merfolk stuff. He wishes he could be cooler about that, more like he means it when he says it’s natural Kageyama wouldn’t be able to spend all of his merfolk time with him. But it would be nice if he could. It would be. He lives much longer than him anyway. He can spare some times for a stupidly curious human who wants to escape the boredom. Maybe with him, Hinata would consider staying here. But that doesn’t matter much right now. 

“There isn’t much to do. It’s always the same thing, over and over again. And when there are new things, they get boring pretty fast. I don’t mind doing the same things all the time. I can do them well. I can also look forward to things. Like lemon-frosted donuts! They are only sold in summer so that gets me really excited! But if you eat them all summer long, you get tired of those too.”

The sun flashes on the surface of the water, sparkling with the waves and Hinata has to blink, finding white spots to be all over his lids from staring too intensely. He used to like to do that as a kid. Staring at the surface of the water, watching the sun light mingle with the water and then closing his eyes and pretending it is night, a starry sky imprinted on his lids. Until his mother told him to leave that be or his eyes would go bad. He still occasionally does that, though. He could tell Kageyama about that although, as dumb as he sometimes is, the merman might actually go blind from that. ...Better not do it. 

“Haha, you sound a lot like I used to. I’m from the countryside, actually. The town I am from is bigger than this village but it still gets repetitive if you live there for 18 years. So I decided to move to the city.”

“Just like that?”

“Hm. I had a plan in mind. I’ve always wanted to learn about the ocean. I got fairly good grades so it’s not like I just up and left with nothing in mind. I figure that would be harder to do,” Daichi says and taps his toes in accordance with the movement of the waves. “Are you planning on leaving here, someday?”

“Dunno,” he pulls back his legs and to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He would like to. He’s been dreaming of it. For a longer time than he can remember. It’s the reason he even came up with absurd stories. For a change of pace, and a change of place. Even if it was just his imagination, for some moments, he was flying on a dragon’s back and climbed the highest mountain. He could do that. Minus the harpy maybe but he could try it. Climbing. Leaving. “My family is here. I know what I will do in my future if I stay here.”

“Alright, but is it what you want to do? That sounds about as vague as saying you guess you are sunbathing on a rock.”

“I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t think I’d be a good fisherman. I can do it, I’ve been learning my entire life how to do it but…”

“You see,” Daichi interrupts and Hinata is almost grateful for that because he doesn’t know if speaking his everlasting thoughts would make him feel better or not. He tends to think no, “My parents have a small inn back home. I’m an only child so they expected me to take over. But it didn’t sound appealing to me. Sure, everyone back home was like ‘Good for you, Sawamura, you have a secure future unlike us losers’ but the more I thought about it, the more I figured I wanted to do something else. My parents weren’t happy and I think even nowadays they wish I would have taken over but… seeing as I feel incredibly fulfilled I wouldn’t want to even if it sounds selfish.” Daichi ends his speech with a laugh and Hinata oddly feels like smiling too. He is definitely a nice person. “Just… give yourself some time to think about it. There are plenty of opportunities for you and plenty of possibilities to try out.”

“You sound like my old maths teacher,” Hinata blurts out but adds quickly, “I really liked him! He was the only one I liked, actually.”

“I get to hear this a lot. Maybe Suga was right and I should have gone for teaching after all. Ah well. Better be exploring than sitting in a stuffy faculty office, at least for me. ...I ended up talking so much about myself, I’m sorry, haha.” He rubs his neck and Hinata shakes his head quickly. 

“That’s fine! I like hearing about people I don’t know yet. I told you so! There’s so much I don’t know yet! A lot I want to know though! If I could I would like to know everything about everyone in the entire world and about the world itself too!”

“That’s certainly a very broad goal for a single human life but it sounds beautiful. See, there you have it. A goal.” Daichi pulls his legs back up and crosses them. “I wonder why the villagers said I shouldn’t trust your words. You seem plenty earnest to me. Very much so, actually.”

Hinata’s head turns to Daichi for a second, locking eyes with him but then turning it back down. He is aware he tells a lot of stories. And he is also aware that everyone knows. But for them to go out of their way and tell someone from the outside not to trust him… it all started so innocently. He never meant to do any harm. He still doesn’t. It’s not like he still believes in those stories. Then again, it’s only because of them that he lost that childish belief. He wonders what they would say if they knew. About merfolk and all that. “Did they say that?”

“I asked them and they didn’t want to tell me anything yet multiple people told me instead that should I ever meet a boy called Hinata, I should not ask him for information because he would tell me stories that aren’t true. ...I mean I did tell them that I don’t care, I could still research it. More often than not legends and myths have brought us to discover certain species and unraveling the secrets those myths were based on. It sounds so unromantic, like destroying an illusion when I say it like that.”

He laughs and Hinata can bring up a small smile after all. “I guess that’s what sciences do. But that’s pretty cool too. I mean legends and myths and fairy tales all sound great, with a lot of imagination but knowing an actual explanation for everything, knowing why those legends even exist, that’s really really amazing as well! Facts and imagination don’t always exclude each other. People can still decide to believe in a myth if that sounds more appealing to them, after all. Even if they know it’s untrue.”

But that doesn’t apply to the villagers here, Hinata thinks and wonders if elsewhere people would be willing to listen. To stories woven for the fun of it, to creatures based on existing ones but bigger, smarter, cooler, too. Like in books. And then he remembers not all stories are fiction even if they sound like ones. He can’t believe he hallucinated for almost two months that merfolk exists. Kageyama, he seems to believe Hinata's stories. Even if it's just partially.

“That’s absolutely right. I think knowing the reason to a phenomenon doesn’t invalidate the existence of a fitting myth to it. If it’s pretty why not keep on thinking like that? That is also a sort of knowledge. I wonder now, though, hearing all this you seem to be quite infamous. I’d like to hear one of your stories if you have the time to tell me one. Make me believe it and prove the villagers wrong.”

Hinata lifts his head and finds Daichi looking at him expectantly. There is no way he can tell him about anything that would go past the borders of the village but then there is not a huge deal of stories left to tell. Then again, smaller incidents but for that Daichi would have to know about certain traditions they have and Hinata doesn’t feel like explaining them. 

This sort of challenge is not one Hinata plans on losing. So he chooses the considerably easiest story to tell, breathing in deeply and starting out, “Well, since you are asking so kindly, I can’t refuse you, after all. I might tie in a little bit of information too so you have to see what is true and what is false. I win if you say ‘I believe you’.”

“That’s a deal. Should you lose, you treat me for more donuts. Should I lose, I will treat you.”

Hinata nods and stretches his fingers. “Okay then listen up.”

And then he starts explaining that the villagers are distant towards travelers and outsiders because they have a pact to keep silent about who lives with them. A pact with people who breathe and live under water, right in front of their shores, looking like humans yet also half-fish. He tells Daichi that they are breathtakingly beautiful yet equally dangerous and scary if they are being aggravated so the villagers have no choice but to keep their promise. Tells him they can speak with fish and sometimes relay messages from them to the humans, the reason why the fishing is usually going so well in their small village. Tells him how those merpeople enjoy the solitude though, enjoy the warmth of the sun burning on their skin, how they never get close to humans though because they are too noisy and curious for them though sometimes they want to eat sweet things like donuts. Tells him they might be pretty but also very bold, rude almost. Tells him about how there are only males living at the shore while the females live in the deep ocean, far away from here, that they are more aggressive and brutal. 

He tells Daichi everything he knows from Kageyama, puts it into words pretty enough to lull Daichi into believing they are true, embellishes a thing or two maybe and fills gaps he doesn’t know how to explain otherwise. It feels like two hours later that Hinata finishes and Daichi stares at him with disbelief in his eyes. Of course he does. 

“This is my story, Daichi-san, and I wonder if you---”

Without blinking, without even moving an inch of his face, Daichi cuts in to say, “I believe you.” And Hinata is left shocked after all. He was sure Daichi would tell him off. Sure he would laugh at him, tell him it was entertaining maybe but not quite believable. He knows he wouldn’t have believed it if it hadn’t been an actual merman to tell him all of that. 

“What.”

“I said I believe you,” Daichi repeats. “The reason I first came up to you. I lied,” he admits, his face still unmoved, still features cast in stone as if he couldn’t believe what Hinata has said, “I approached you because… you, I thought you were one of them.”

“Wait, what? You thought I was one of who?” Hinata feels his face twist, not quite sure what to make of Daichi's words.

“One of them! One of their kind! Listen, Hinata, I couldn’t have approached you saying ‘Hey, kid, you’re laying there like a merman’ so I just… came up with something else when I realized I’d gotten so close to you. I didn’t see at first. But the way you were laying there, it looked just like… he does.”

Hinata freezes on spot and figures he might have gone a little too far mimicking Kageyama. Or more adapting to his habits. The weird ones, at that. But Daichi doesn’t know him, right… not Kageyama… right?

“Like who does. Daichi-san, do _you_ have a sunstroke?” he says, trying to laugh off the fact that he might be able to reach Kageyama somehow after all. Maybe Daichi knows a way. Anything at all. 

“Him. Kuroo. A merman we caught last week. Accidentally.” Hinata’s heart sinks. It isn’t Kageyama. Thankfully? He wouldn’t have wanted him to get caught. He does not agree with catching a merman, with catching Kageyama but would it have been him, he would have been able to talk to him, to see him again, it would have explained his absence but--- “My entire team and I couldn’t believe our eyes,” Daichi continues, oblivious to Hinata’s rush of thoughts, “We haven’t told anyone about him, of course not but mainly because there is nothing we could tell anyone. Just like yours, our words wouldn’t sound more believable. Your words and his, they are identical. Except for the donut part, maybe.”

“Y-You caught him…”

“He let himself get caught, Hinata, don’t get the wrong idea,” and Daichi raises his hands apologetically, “….I don’t entirely understand his reasoning either even if he… keeps hinting towards something but please don’t think ill of us. We really didn’t know what to do. I keep him because he says he would be sad if I would just throw him out into the ocean again before he gets to know me properly.”

“....A week ago, you caught him a week ago, right?” 

“Yes. ...Why, you weren’t worried about him…?”

“No, I mean, yes but, say… as a reward, that you believe me, do you… is it possible for me to see him and talk to him?”

Daichi wrinkles his nose. “You know him?”

“No.”

“But you know another merman.”

“Yes.”

“One who eats donuts.”

“Yes.”

“And likes the warmth.”

“Yes.”

“...Were you waiting for him?”

“I haven’t seen him in a week and maybe your merman knows where mine is. Maybe they know each other. Maybe he can just tell me what has happened. Maybe he doesn’t even know him after all but I have to at least try! I have no other means to reach him, here is the only place I’ve ever seen him. I came back here every day but he hasn’t been here so, please---”

He hates the way his voice is giving way and how he has to avert his eyes for a second or two. In a span of two months, Kageyama has grown on him so much. He might be rude and blunt and he keeps crumbling donuts all over his shorts and clothes, not to say that he has no understanding of personal space yet Hinata has yet to find someone who fascinates him as much as that. For all his quirks and misbehaviours, they spent almost the entire summer together, simply sitting next to each other talking, they haven’t done anything else and Hinata can’t believe it meant nothing to Kageyama. He whined after their first day that Hinata had to leave. He would find him, even if just to hear that Kageyama got bored of him. Just to make sure he was safe, as safe as he could be living underwater with more predators than Hinata probably knows of. 

When he looks up, Daichi’s face has gone all soft, wrinkled eyebrows flat again, gentle smile as a perfect fit to his warm eyes. “Don’t worry, Hinata. Just come over whenever. As much of a jackass Kuroo can be, I’m certain he will help you if he can. He seems very fond of humans.”

“I’ll try if donuts work on him too,” Hinata says quickly and earns a laughter from Daichi who goes on talking about how he isn’t sure whether the donuts rule applies to all mermen but Hinata is barely able to listen. His throat itches, scratches from telling his story and he feels that even if he isn’t leading his own story as the thousand others he thinks about every day, it might still turn out in his favour unexpectedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ended up a lot different than i intended but i hope it was still enjoyable despite the lack of kageyama and his dumb comments. hinata has a very serious crush and i feel like even daichi knows even though he knows him for like two or three hours. hoo, good luck hinata, go tiny fighter, find and smooch your rude merman!
> 
> as an extra, [lovely sophie](https://twitter.com/unterseebrot/) drew an adorable illustration of them eating donuts together [here](https://twitter.com/unterseebrot/status/622856059124862976) that i'm still screaming about when i see it aaaaaa


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had some things to sort out and that took me a lot longer than i expected, i'm so sorry aaaaa but i hope you enjoy nonetheless!!

He stares into a pair of eyes sharp as a knife, not necessarily maliciously looking at him but they do make Hinata feel uneasy. He waved it off when Daichi said Kuroo can be a handful. ‘I can deal with a rude merman, it can’t be worse than that,’ he said before he entered the room. It is more of a hall than a room, Daichi said they usually kept larger species of fish and sharks in those but now it is occupied by a very special sort of guest - one with a very human-looking upper body but Hinata knows better than to be fooled by that. Again. 

Kuroo is much larger than Kageyama, though Hinata can’t see him properly as he’s curled up on the bottom of the tank filled with water, parts of his tail buried in the sand. It’s black, entirely and completely, other than Kageyama’s tail it doesn’t have the sort of fragility given by the gradients the colours fade into. It’s a solid black. Hinata is almost certain that if you picked a single scale and hold it into the sun, no ray would shine through no matter how thin it were. ...A scary thought that makes him more intimidating to Hinata than the sole fact he is a merman twice his size (or so it feels). The only part of Kuroo’s tail that might look softer, maybe of a different colour, is where Hinata can’t see it. 

Then, Kuroo moves.

It’s a motion more fluid than water itself had ever been to Hinata’s eyes as the merman raises and swims towards the surface. A movement of grace and strength alike as if he didn’t simply belong in it. He _is_ waves and streams, he seems gentle at touch yet equally torrential, ripping, _lethal_ if handled carelessly. No fish, no species underwater, nothing Hinata had seen before had ever looked more like it was one with its surroundings as much as this merman caught in a tank too small for his size. 

He’s never seen this before, never had the chance to watch Kageyama in his natural habitat, in his everyday environment as they only ever sat on that group of rocks Kageyama happened to have chosen as his destined place for sunbathing (and donut eating, as he later added). Ever since the first time they’d met, it never changed once. It was always Hinata talking and Kageyama listening, the merman curious about the stories he’d been told. They’d been slowly growing closer though, from a ‘Go away, you block the sun’ to an almost sheepish ‘You’re leaving already? But you come back tomorrow, right?’ although Kageyama’s face never suggested anything else but annoyance. 

Hinata had learnt to read him better though. With the time, he could tell apart the slight difference between actual anger and slight displeasure - not necessarily by Kageyama’s stern face but by the movement of his tail. More frantic when angry or heated up, very slow and calming when he was listening, fin grazing Hinata’s skin lazily but with a tenderness that still makes Hinata consider it an urging for him to keep on talking. He remembers how as soon as he would take a break to breathe, Kageyama’s tail would wrap around his ankles or his back a little tighter. Both in anticipation and worry that he wouldn’t continue, Hinata supposes. He never asked him. He might, next time they see each other. 

The moment he pays attention to what happens before him rather than think back, Kuroo sticks his head out of the water and heaves himself up to hang off the edge of the tank, eyeing Hinata from head to toe. It matters little to Hinata who is left wondering just how tall Kuroo would be. To him, Kuroo seems like a giant, considering his fin almost touches the sand at the bottom while all stretched out. His tail, from hips to bottom, looks to be of the exact same kind as Kageyama’s. Except for the deep black colour even his fin is coloured in. It looks much more delicate than the rest of his tail, not as dark, wavy as it floats in the water, as if it were made a veil of black silk as opposed to the sharp, almost steel-like vibes the scales on his tail give off. 

“Yo,” is the first thing he says and Hinata can’t say he isn’t startled yet fascinated all the same. It’s different than with Kageyama though. Much different. It’s only then Hinata notices the odd-looking hair he noticed floating up in the water looks just the same at the surface. Could be straight out of an advertisement for hairspray. That sort of hair is physically impossible, Hinata is sure. For humans at least.

There is a smirk on his face that makes Hinata wonder if the sharp look earlier had solely been for intimidating purposes. Very likely, other species underwater do that all the time. Hinata tends to forget in what environment their kind lives. 

“H-Hi,” he replies and takes a step closer, looking up at the merman. ...He’s more toned than Kageyama, black scales here and there but not closely as many as Kageyama has them, covering the human looking skin. Maybe that’s a bit like birthmarks for humans. Or maybe they just fall off after a while? Do they grow when they age? Hinata mentally notes it down the long list of questions he will ask Kageyama once he sees him again. 

“Sawamura told me you wanted me to help you find your sweetheart,” and his voice is pleasant to Hinata’s ears but he figures that’s a common thing humans think about merfolk voices. Kageyama mentioned something like this before but not in too much detail. “I want to make a good impression on him so go ahead, clownfish human, but do tell him I was nice. ...Not like I’m not always kind but y’know.”

“...Clownfish human?” Hinata is confused to whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. He does recall Kageyama hating clownfish so for now, he decides to feel slightly offended by Kuroo’s words. 

“You look like a human version of a clownfish. Small, orange, quirky.”

Blunt behaviour does seem to be common for merfolk. Hinata can’t say he dislikes it even if their words do… hit the all the wrong spots sometimes. Like he needed to hear he is small. 

“The name’s Hinata,” he says with a frown, “And I will tell Daichi-san you were nice if you call me by my name rather than a… clownfish.”

“My, my.” Kuroo raises an eyebrow and something in his eyes lights up. Hinata feels like this look is very familiar but he can’t pinpoint why. “You seemed sort of intimidated before when you came in but look at you go. I take it back. You’re no clownfish. They are not witty enough to fire back like you did. Congratulations.”

There is something in Kuroo’s voice that makes Hinata question his honesty but thinking about whether he is being played or not isn’t his priority. Plus, he doesn’t gain anything from picking a fight with a merman he would like to get some information from. If there is anything he learnt from numerous times he interacted with travellers and strangers before it is that being nice to them always makes their tongue loose at some point. And if everything fails - well, he still has a box of donuts in a bag he’s holding. 

“I hear they taste good.”

“They are an amazing snack, yeah. Easy to catch because---”

“They are too stupid to flee and chatter a lot.”

Now that is an expression Hinata can read easily. It’s surprise followed by curiosity. Familiar because it is the same way Kageyama looks at him. It has been harder on him not to talk to that rudeass merman than he thought, Hinata realizes. 

“Amazing. I wouldn’t have thought humans would know. Have you ever tried clownfish?”

Hinata shakes his head. “Not really. It’s not that common to eat them and they slip through our nets because they are too small so we don’t catch a lot of them.”

“Ironic because they are the most common food for us. Can’t believe they try to make us think they are poisonous just because they are orange. Please. Like we’d be as stupid.”

A snort escapes Hinata’s throat and he presses his lips together as he says, “I feel like you and Kageyama would get along well. He told me exactly the same thing before.”

Kuroo’s smile ceases in the instant Hinata mentions Kageyama’s name and eyes sharp before, watching Hinata intently, seem hollow as he looks at him. “What did you just say?”

Hinata gulps. He isn’t sure whether he wants to repeat that, Kuroo’s mood swang so quickly and perhaps asking him wasn’t the best idea after all. Curiosity has often driven Hinata to mingle with possibly dangerous people. Though, as his friends always say, he’s got the luck of an idiot, always sneaking out of troublesome situations without any harm. Upsetting a merman though - that might be a whole new level of trouble. Then again, Kuroo doesn’t exactly seem angry and that’s what makes Hinata the most uncertain. 

What he heard in Kuroo’s voice was genuine shock. 

“I… said you and Kageyama would get along…?”

He is tense from the tip of his hairdo to the end of his fin, seemingly almost keeling over the edge of the tank at first. He exhales and Hinata waits for Kuroo’s voice to sound. But it doesn’t. He keeps quiet, every fibre of his body relaxing visibly. Or rather, _he is deflating_. 

Hinata had seen this before, numerous times. Kageyama did this whenever it was time for Hinata to go home. Though he always recovered quickly, for short moments, Hinata could feel Kageyama’s disappointment over having to part. He’d lie to say he wasn’t a little happy about that. 

“Kageyama is the one I am looking for… he is the merman I know,” Hinata continues eventually and watches Kuroo’s expression shift, nails digging into his arms, averting his eyes with wrinkled eyebrows. 

“Is that so...”

Kuroo mumbles something Hinata is unable to hear. So he can expect Kuroo to know Kageyama but why would he be worried upon hearing his name? Hinata doesn’t like thinking much but when it comes to stories, plots and situations, his mind takes turns and twists at any given second - and the ones it takes right now aren’t favourable for his heart at all. 

“He never told me.”

Kuroo suddenly speaking up startles Hinata so much he almost drops the bag he holds in hands. “H-Huh? What?”

“He never told me he had a human friend.” Hinata has never, in his 18 years and over 500 strangers he’s met, heard a phrase in a voice as lonely as Kuroo’s, his eyes reflecting the same sentiment when he raises his head. Hinata wishes he had words to say to Kuroo but, uncharacteristically, none come to his mind. Just now when he’d need one or two. Of course. 

“So I lost even his trust… not even the tiny tadpole still wants to talk to me, huh...”

“Tadpole?” There should have been other things to focus on first but to hear Kageyama being called a tadpole… that’s certainly not the type of nickname he would give him, nor call him tiny. To him, Kageyama is huge. 

A small smile finds its way back to Kuroo’s face as he replies, “Our tiny tadpole. Kageyama. That’s what he is.”

“Is he that young?”

“No. Not anymore. But he’s still the youngest of us so he has to bear with this nickname. He absolutely hates it.” There is the smirk from the beginning again and Hinata would have never thought he would ever say it makes him feel much more comfortable, especially not considering how intimidating it seemed at first. He can’t say he knows Kuroo at all but this does suit him much better than a face full of woe. 

“I can see why,” Hinata snickers and he can almost imagine Kageyama’s face in reaction to being called a tadpole. Automatically, he pulls the best frown he can and hears Kuroo laugh. 

“That’s at about how he looks like. Good match there. So you spent your fair amount of time with him, then.”

Melancholy is woven into his voice but differently than before, his interest in the situation seems to be piqued. And if there is a thing Hinata loves, then it’s curiosity. “A little more than two months.”

Kuroo raises an eyebrow in confusion. Right. He… doesn’t know how long a month is. Not that long, Hinata realizes when he thinks about it. To them, it’s probably nothing. Maybe a week. So technically--- 

“Two months isn’t that long, is it?”

“It’s about the entire sun season.”

“Oh!” Kuroo’s face lights up. “Now _that_ is something I can understand. I’m no good with human measurement of time. I know a week is made up of seven days though. Also… one day is made up of hours?”

“Of 24 hours!”

“Don’t know about that. We just go by sunrise and sunset. When the sun rises, it’s day and when it goes down, it’s night. That makes much more sense,” Kuroo says and it reminds Hinata painfully of Kageyama. They are similar in a lot of ways. Not very surprising. They do live by the same rules. 

“You and Kageyama say a lot of similar things. You know him, right? Since you call him tadpole and know he doesn’t like it?” It has been burning on his tongue for minutes entire. It’s the entire reason he is here though he can’t deny the fact that talking to Kuroo is interesting. It makes his stomach bubble in excitement. 

Kuroo chuckles wryly and leans his chin on his arms dangling off the edge of the tank. “You would expect his older brother to know this type of thing about him. Then again, I didn’t know he had a human friend so I might be disqualified as a Kageyama expert after all.” 

Hinata inhales and it feels like what an eternity must feel like when he voices the newly-claimed information by himself. A thing he remembers Kageyama talking about. One of his three brothers, being right here in front of him. “You are… one of his brothers.”

Suddenly, he knows he will ask about a lot more than just about where Kageyama could possibly be. There is too much Kuroo could tell him - and he would absorb all of it. 

-

“Kageyama.”

Kageyama flinches at the sound of his name and turns his head into the direction the voice was coming from. Ah. What is it he is getting so jumpy about? Even if it would have been Iwaizumi to see him, it’s not like he is doing something forbidden. Just looking at some stuff he picked up at the shore a while ago. He’s not the only one collecting them anyway. Kuroo and Akaashi often bring things to their small cave too. 

It’s not Iwaizumi though. It’s Akaashi. 

“I thought I would be finding you here,” he says, something dangling in his hands as he glides right next to him. He is much more graceful than Kageyama could ever wish to be. It makes him a little jealous sometimes, even though they are brothers. All he ever gets to hear is how unpleasant his face looks like. But it’s not like he could do anything about it. That’s just how it is. Akaashi lowers himself on a smaller rock and Kageyama can see what it is he carries in hands. It is the hairchain he should be working on too. It’s not very appealing though, spending actual time on those things when he doesn’t even like sirens in the least. They are a pain in the neck to weave and he sucks at it anyway. “Though I figured you might be up at the surface. You haven’t been there for a bit.”

“No,” Kageyama says, trying not to sound like it bothers him. He runs his fingers over something that Hinata has told him is called a bottle. Something humans keep water or other drinks in. Other than them, humans actually need to remember to stay hydrated. As in _eat the water_. Hinata called it drinking but it did sound a lot like what eating is, minus the chewing. Weird folk. “Kuroo isn’t back yet.”

“That has never kept you from going to the surface during sun season.” Akaashi’s hands start moving, picking small shells off the rock he’s sitting on. “Kuroo has often been gone.”

“You aren’t worried about him at all?”

“I would be if I wouldn’t know better than that. He does usually tell us when he is about to disappear for a while and he didn’t do it this time. But Bokuto doesn’t seem worried about him either and he is normally the first one to yell.”

“Ah. Right.” Kageyama swims over to Akaashi’s side and sits down next to him, leaning his head against Akaashi’s slightly. “You get along with Bokuto now?”

“Hm. When he doesn’t try to make it overly obvious he wants to be my mate, I enjoy being around him.”

“Otherwise not?”

“Otherwise he becomes moody and that’s troublesome. It requires more effort like that. And I like how it’s no effort at all being around him.”

Kageyama watches his brother weave for a while, pulling knots carefully and assorting small pebbles and shells, sometimes colourful shards he picks off the narrow platforms they store all their treasures on. He does want to go back up to the surface again. Listen to Hinata speak about all sorts of weird creatures and traditions humans have, tell him about the world up there. 

A world he could never see on his own. Sometimes he grows a little envious of what Hinata has. He wishes he could go along with him rather than just listen. But it’s more than nothing. It’s more than he still hoped for. If it weren’t for Hinata sharing his world with him, he would have never even heard of so many things. 

“Are you afraid?”

“Of what?”

“To go up.”

“No. I’m just worried. Kuroo’s never left without saying anything. Even if Bokuto isn’t worried, it doesn’t mean he is okay.”

“So you are afraid. Do you think he got caught? By humans?”

And if he were? Maybe Kuroo likes it up at the surface. Maybe that’s why he isn’t coming back. Maybe he is enjoying himself. Maybe he won’t come back again. And that frightens Kageyama. Because maybe, if he were to be caught too, maybe he wouldn’t want to come back either. Humans are weird but he likes them. He likes their world. He likes Hinata’s world. 

“Bokuto told me Kuroo fell in love with a human,” Akaashi says eventually, after Kageyama didn’t reply to his prior question. He freezes as Akaashi, calmly, continues weaving. The colours he uses would go well with a certain merman’s tail, Kageyama thinks. Maybe Akaashi does like Bokuto a lot more than he admits. 

“...Is that bad?”

“It’s not. It’s probably the reason why he is gone though. Bokuto didn’t want to tell me outright but I asked him a few questions and I think Kuroo might have planned to get himself caught by that human. To spend more time with them.” 

Kageyama presses his lips together. He likes talking to Akaashi. His brother always manages to calm him down when he feels upset. Sometimes, just rarely, it is troublesome how calm he is though. It is the type where Kageyama can’t tell if he is a cold calm or a soothing calm. Even though he has spent his entire life with Akaashi, he can’t tell those two apart all the time. 

“We all want to spend time with what we like, right?”

And then, Akaashi turns to Kageyama the first time since they spoke and says, voice crystal clear and sharp, “Then why don’t you? You don’t want to be down here, do you?”

Kageyama averts his eyes and his insides feel awful, like after he ate a seashell whole instead of just what is inside. He was young back then, who could blame him? 

“You don’t have one reason to be here other than that Kuroo is gone. What for? Iwaizumi? He has never forbidden you to go up when Kuroo was gone. He might be worried about him now but do you know why?”

Kageyama looks up, confused as to what Akaashi refers. He shakes his head. 

“They had a fight. Iwaizumi heard about Kuroo’s love and… he was rather harsh to him. Iwaizumi is worried that Kuroo disappeared because of him, not because of the fact that he is away. He feels guilty because they haven’t made up yet.”

“I didn’t know…” Kageyama lowers his head and sees from the corner of his eyes that Akaashi has picked up weaving again, his hands steadier than ever. 

“Well, they don’t know about you either. So I guess that’s fair, then.”

Kageyama flinches. “You know why I haven’t told them. They would have just fought again. Besides--”

“Besides what?” Akaashi’s movements stop again but he doesn’t look at Kageyama at all. “If you want to tell me, this isn’t serious enough to you, then you better keep quiet. You blurted out your mate name on your first sunset together with him. I don’t know how to tell you other than like this. But that wasn’t your mind speaking. It was your heart, Kageyama. And you obviously want him to be the only one calling out for you with your mate name. I can let a lot of what you do pass but don’t lie to yourself nor to me.”

He would say what Akaashi said was uncalled for but it is the truth. Never once did he consider being called by his mate name by anyone at all. He never wanted anyone as his mate. None of those he knew, none of the sirens either. He only noticed after diving down back home how he introduced himself to Hinata. And he tried, he honestly did, not to pay it any mind. But the more he did, the more he would think of Hinata. Enough to be unable to keep quiet about it and talk to Akaashi about it. 

“Everyone calls me scary but you are the actual scary one.”

“Call me what you want. I don’t mind being called scary. It has something intimidating. I like that.” Akaashi smiles in a way that it makes Kageyama freeze. “I think you should have told them. Kuroo has been feeling neglected lately, especially since you haven’t been around to pamper him and look up to him anymore. And Iwaizumi is much less against you being up at the surface than you think. He does want you to be unharmed but he also wants you to be happy. We all do. And if what makes you happy is up at the surface then certainly none of us will keep you. Iwaizumi is aware that what has happened to him does not necessarily have to happen to you too. Ideally, none of us should ever meet humans so we would never fall for them and the fascination their world gives us.”

“That’s impossible,” Kageyama says, voice meek. 

“It is. And Iwaizumi knows that best. He has been just the same. He probably still is. I can’t tell you this. If you want to know, then talk to him. Tell him about Hinata. Tell him about how you feel.” Akaashi’s hands resume their work as he continues. “Our family bonds aren’t as weak as to break because of something like this. After all,” and his tone shifts from fierce to mellow, “even if the human you fall for might die long before you do, you will still have us to love you. It’s a whole lot different and nothing will be able to replace that but it does give you a peace of mind knowing you will still be surrounded by love. Don’t you think?”

Kageyama keeps quiet. He knows these aren’t Akaashi’s words. Not solely his, at least. They are a summed up version of what Akaashi, Kuroo and him told Iwaizumi before, back when… “I don’t want to think about that yet.”

This time, Akaashi’s smile is of a tender sort as he lifts his head and rubs his forehead against Kageyama’s. “Well, you shouldn’t. But then don’t be afraid either. And don’t look for excuses. Just because you might have fallen too deep to get out doesn’t mean it is a mistake. If it feels right to you, then let it happen. What happens afterwards…”

“I don’t want to think about that yet,” Kageyama repeats, more for his own reassurance than anything else. He shuffles closer to Akaashi, leaning his head back onto his shoulder to watch his brother continue weaving the chain. He considers making one too, maybe adding the yellow and orange little stones he picked up at the shore when he was younger. They’ve always been his favourites and he feels like they suit Hinata’s hair just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact for today: the brothers refer to each other by their canon surnames because merfolk goes by (name) (mate name) rather than (family name) (given name). mate names are given only to mates merfolk has chosen for life and those mates are the only ones allowed to use it. talk about speaking your heart there, kageyama


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy this actually went a lot smoother than i expected, have fun with it!

The weather has gotten colder by now, the breeze chilly rather than pleasant. Not that Hinata minds it much. He loves summer and autumn and winter and spring. All of those hold a certain beauty to them that helps his mind to weave more stories, stories that depend on the change of season and weather, of tides and daytimes, sometimes even of moon phases.

He has never thought that there is a certain season he preferred over the others. But ever since he's met Kageyama, he feels like summer might be his favourite after all. Not because _he_ likes the warmth but because Kageyama does. Perhaps the approaching cold is what kept him away, he starts to think. But he knows better than that. He has talked to Kuroo enough to know that Kageyama might be looking for him - for a brother that disappeared without a notice. Kuroo did say he felt bad about it and Hinata is certain he was speaking the truth.

Yet he also somehow understands Kuroo's sentiments. If he could grow a tail rather than having legs, if he could breathe underwater all of a sudden - he thinks he might have as well considered just leaving everything and everyone behind if it would mean staying with Kageyama. Even if it would have been just for a little while. Some time spent together. That time Kuroo has so desperately been reaching out for, a short amount together with the person he yearns for.

It's a very human sentiment, Hinata thinks. And he isn't sure whether or not Kuroo enjoys his stay at the surface or not. Whether he enjoys the feelings he has or not, whether he enjoys the time with Daichi or not. As much as they have talked - another week ever since they met - Hinata isn't quite sure if Kuroo is happy. He doesn't seem unhappy either. And figures it might be the same for him as well.

He does feel happy for he has learnt about a new world but it leaves him unsatisfied not knowing whether there is more for him to see. His hunger for new sights is insatiable - and it is all a rude merman's fault. His state is a constant flow between happy and unhappy, doubtful and hopeful, eager and scared. He has never been as uncertain as this and never quite as unsure as to what he could do about that.

Leave or not, stay or not, find Kageyama or wait - torn between the sides without being able to decide. He isn't one to think much about decisions. Chocolate over strawberry flavoured ice cream, red shirts over blue ones, definitely Charmander over Bulbasaur.

This decision isn't as easy as that though. And he feels like suddenly he understands what his mother said to him when he was younger. That there would be a time when he would struggle to find the right answer and that he would have to find it on his own. Not because nobody would be willing to help him - but because some decisions are not to be taken rashly nor by anyone else but himself.

Maybe the only one who could help him is the one who caused this mess in the first place - if he would show up again, that is. Two weeks. He hasn’t seen Kageyama in two weeks. Though according to Kuroo, there is nothing to be worried about. Of course not. Merfolk isn't supposed to be up at the surface after all. He hasn't seen any other merman except for Kageyama a while ago either so it's not like they'd have a fixed routine of coming up to breathe either. Kuroo said they can do just fine without air unlike whales or dolphins but that it’s more of preference whether they need time at the surface sometimes or not. 

It doesn't keep Hinata from passing by the rocks they sat on every day anyway. Even with donuts - just two, one for each of them though. It has taken quite a toll on his wallet to buy them every single day without fail. Plus, he'd gotten sick and tired of 3 donuts a day, sometimes 4 when his sister passed on hers.

He turns his head towards the large rocks, waves clashing against them in the wildest motions, a night-blue tail camouflaged by its surroundings - almost, if it weren't for Hinata's sharp eyes. And he would recognize that colour and shape, the gem-like shimmer and fluent movements everywhere. He knows how they feel on his skin, rough in its texture, smooth in its feeling, tender in its meaning.

Hinata has never run as quickly as that in his life before, never climbed a pair of rocks that fervently, never slipped as unmajestically either just when he reached the point of actually seeing Kageyama's face. For a split second. Until he feels the fall and he would have liked to at least yell Kageyama’s name but the feeling that overwhelmed him took every last bit of his voice away. For once, when he needed it to sound unlike in any other situation, it decided not to work. What an undependable mate living in his own body. He thought his mind was the only one going through a rebel phase.

In the spur of the moment and the uncomfortable feeling of tripping and slipping and ultimately falling, Hinata shuts his eyes tightly and holds his breath for the imminent and involuntary dive he is going to do - but the water doesn't hit him.

 _He_ doesn't hit the water, more like. He can hear it beneath him, his muscles strained and his grip tight on an arm that reached out for him before he could fall to his--- not death, that would be a stretch. But a very unpleasant meeting with quite the savage sea that could have possibly at least caused a nasty injury. His palms are itching and burning as are his knees from slipping but other than that, he was spared the date with the sea.

He breathes in and his eyes roam up from his hand up to an arm covered in what still looks like miniature jewels to him. Not that he didn't know it was him but seeing Kageyama's face after two weeks again lets him forget his near-death experience. Near-injury experience. He knows he's going to use that in one of his stories in the overstretched version of almost dying. Eventually. Probably.

"You fucking dumbass, what are you doing!?" Ah. Yes. Not necessarily the first thing Hinata meant to hear in Kageyama’s voice but definitely suiting him. He should’ve known better than to expect a nice greeting. 

"Falling. I'm great at this. You should see me at home. I'm always hugging the floor. It absolutely loves me," Hinata replies and grins. Kageyama is holding onto his wrist and it starts hurting quite a bit but Hinata sees it as a priority to get a good look at Kageyama first. It hasn't been that long a time. Two weeks. But enough for Hinata to want to recuperate all the times in which he couldn't properly examine Kageyama - for research reasons. He does want his stories to be as accurate as possible in some regards at least. ...If only that were still true. 

He is fully aware how much of an excuse this gives him to stare at Kageyama without him feeling weird about it. He wonders if Kageyama ever did. He never made the impression it bothered him even when Hinata himself thought he might be overdoing it a little with his gazing. He wouldn't blame anybody if they did the same - seeing someone supposedly human having a fish tail and scales all over their body isn't exactly the most normal occurrence in a human's life. Perhaps Kageyama knows that as well and doesn't mind.

His nails dig into Kageyama's skin as he tries to escape the water beneath him. He can definitely postpone checking Kageyama out and seeing if he’s changed to when his legs and ass are safely sitting up there, next to him. "Look, I'm great at hanging out but not really at hanging by itself so could you maybe pull me up already, my arms are tired!"

Kageyama’s face is all shades of confused, but with a rather quick and harsh pull, Hinata feels his shoulder cracking uncomfortably as Kageyama heaves him up next to him. He underestimated a merman's power _greatly_ and makes a mental note to never piss off Kageyama too much. Holding him for as long as he did with just one arm and pulling him up with this much force... he suddenly understands why Kuroo couldn't stop laughing when Hinata suggested Kageyama might have been eaten by a shark or a whale. He doubts there is anything that could win in a battle of power. Before they could eat him, he would probably be able to punch them into the deep sea. He snorts at the thought of it. Then again, there might be creatures Hinata doesn’t know of yet that could compete. Hm. 

"Yeah, real funny, you idiot. How did you survive so far if things like these happen to you every day?" Kageyama says, his fingers still curled around Hinata’s wrist. He isn’t out of breath at all and it somehow irks Hinata. He knows he shouldn’t think of comparing himself to a different species but having Kageyama glare at him without the slightest sign he’s put in some effort...

"Don't know. I'm pretty lucky. And it's usually not really life-threatening,” he responds quicker than he expected himself to. A smile spreads on his face, breath still short, “In every other occasion - well, I got you, right?"

When he turns his face to look at Kageyama, he sees an expression containing bewilderment as well as anger in equal parts. Since he seemingly can't decide which one he wants to be, his face is scrunched up, pout intense and eyebrows wrinkled yet also sharp.

"You look absolutely ridiculous," Hinata says and the corners of his lips won't go down no matter what he thinks of. His shoulder hurts, his palms and his knees still do too but there is no space for those things in his mind. 

"You _are_ absolutely ridiculous. And weak. What do you mean 'My arms are tired', you didn't even do anything." There he goes. 

"Actually, dangling like that does take some effort. I didn't know that either, okay?! Plus, do I know how strong you are? What if you dropped me?"

This time, Kageyama's face shifts and to say he is offended is still nicely put. He’s _bristling_. ...Mental note to definitely never _ever_ get the idea of getting on Kageyama’s bad side. And to never think he might have gotten eaten. "What if I dropped you? _What if I dropped you?_ You didn't just say that, did you?"

"H-Hey, what, I've never seen you in action! I've only ever heard from you but do I know if you can rip apart a shark with your own two hands or not? How am I supposed to know if I've never seen nor ever felt that, huh!?" 

...He should probably not say he’s never felt it as if he wanted to experience that. Hinata has never seen Kageyama’s claws but Kuroo has shown him how they look like and, to say the nicest thing about them, a sharp knife would probably seem like it was made of jelly in comparison. Good thing they aren’t always out in the open but for what Hinata’s seen, merfolk is terrifying when in entire hunting mode. Their teeth are massive and edged, their faces huge and not close to pretty anymore, eyes narrow and pointed with a glow so nasty to them Hinata doesn’t think he _wants_ to ever see them hunt properly. The two seconds Kuroo showed him a few days ago were enough to be nightmare-inducing. He was curious, was all. 

In hindsight, that should have been enough to trust Kageyama’s strength but Hinata was letting other things out with that as well. Things he should have probably not have mingled with stepping on Kageyama’s toes. Tail. Fin. However that saying would go for a merman.

"Do I _look_ like I wouldn't be able to hold you? _You_ , of all puny beings? You've got to be kidding me, I could lift you with two fingers if I wanted to! _Look at yourself._ "

"Oh, really? I want to see how you do that!"

Shivers run down Hinata's back as he looks into Kageyama's face when he realizes _Kageyama does not joke around_. He slips in closer, the tip of his nose almost touching Hinata's cheek. It almost makes Hinata shy away how close Kageyama is, uncertain if the slight scent of the sea and waves is Kageyama's or simply the one hanging in the air. It would be nice if it weren't for Kageyama glaring at him. Like, with the type of eyes that make him think he is a clownfish after all. ...He did say they don’t eat humans but he feels like Kageyama is ready to swallow him in one piece. 

And then, for a miraculous second time, Hinata slips off the small cliff without any warning. Pushed by the very merman right next to him. He would have screamed if he hadn’t been as dumbfounded about the fact that _Kageyama not-accidentally but very much deliberately shoved him over a cliff_.

Reflexively, he stretches out an arm to hold onto something - anything - and swearing to everything holy that he would roast Kageyama if he survives this fall to feel Kageyama's fingers slipping between his in the same instant. He gets the idea except, "Kageyama, I can't hold onto you like that, pull me up _right now_!"

Kageyama wavers for a second, seemingly not understanding why Hinata is so upset but as before pulls his arm up, hastily, but Hinata's fingers, unable to hold on _because who the hell has muscular fingers strong enough for this_ , slip out his and, it shouldn't be, but the familiar feeling of falling is back in his bones as well as the sudden tight grip on his wrist. The other one this time. For what Kageyama's brain doesn't do, his muscles and reflexes do. At least something. 

"What. The. Actual. Hell." It takes Hinata a good minute or two to verbalize his feelings and even then he isn't sure whether he managed to convey them. The soon he safely sat on Kageyama's lap, he feels his body shake and tense up. For all the jokes he made before, this second fall very definitely scared him. Much more than he anticipated. It still wouldn't have been enough to kill him - probably - but--- _heart attack_ if he wouldn’t have cracked his skull open in an unfortunate angle of falling. 

"If--- you--- What is _wrong_ with you humans!?" Kageyama seems torn between utter disbelief and what Hinata imagines to be shock. Is it? Has he been scared there for a second? Even though he had such a big mouth before. Huh. Like it’s his place to be offended anyway. 

"What is wrong with _you_!? Just because I said 'I want to see' doesn't mean 'Push me down a cliff to prove it'!"

"I thought you wanted me to show you I could! Because I could've if---"

"You almost murdered me!"

"I could've held onto you if you would've held onto _me_ properly!"

"Maybe if you gave me a warning like 'Hey, by the way, I'm going to push you down a fucking cliff!' Is this your idea of a welcome!? I would've been okay with 'Hey, good to see you after two weeks I've disappeared without a sign or a notice'! Good to know you rather push people _down a cliff_!" Hinata breathes in and out, heavily, in an attempt to regain some of his non-existent composure, his hands clutching onto his shirt. ...Well, there goes what he’s been bottling up. He’s never been good at hiding his feelings anyway. But he doesn’t think Kageyama would have noticed, as dense as he is, if he hadn’t slipped like this. 

It feels terrible. Kageyama is free to stay and go whenever. Unlike Kuroo, he isn’t caught in a tank where he can’t go where he pleases. And it scares Hinata that he might have thought it wouldn’t be bad if Kageyama were, sometimes. 

Kageyama's face softens as he wraps his arms around Hinata and rests his head onto his shoulder, nose nuzzling against his neck. Even though he still feels upset, mostly at himself than at Kageyama though, body still trembling, the tickling at his legs makes Hinata giggle faintly. Kageyama's tail is grazing up and down his calves and this is the first time he thinks wearing shorts despite the slightly colder breeze was a good decision. He likes the feeling of Kageyama's fin on his skin. It's soothing and prickling at the same time, goosebumps running all down his back again as if Kageyama never left in the first place. What used to feel incredibly weird is now Hinata's biggest comfort and he didn't realize just how much he missed it.

This is just like him. Kageyama can't talk for his life but that he makes up for with skinship. It's hard to stay angry at him even though he practically almost _killed him_. He thinks he will stick to this exaggeration. It makes things sound fancier. And he can brush over the fact that he was actually scared by sounding cool. Win-win. He’ll hide the small detail he egged Kageyama on to do so. 

Hinata exhales and closes his eyes. It feels like deflating against Kageyama's chest entirely and not thinking for a second. He's never been the smartest kid at school. Not to say he's been actually.... well, not as good unless he actually studied. Perhaps because his mind was always full of other things rather than things regarding school. It was never quiet inside of his skull.

Except for now. 

All he can hear are waves crashing into the cliff, his own breath quieting down considerably and realizing both his and Kageyama's are entirely in sync. It's a nice feeling. Their worlds might not overlap, separated by the water but for this moment both him and Kageyama were at the same place, in the same time, breathing in the same air and hearing the same sounds. 

If they had never meant to be then this moment wouldn't exist in the first place, and it's a soothing thought.

Perhaps the reason that they were different, from different worlds and different cultures, it might have just been an excuse for Hinata all along. To make his own story more dramatic than it needed to be. He never almost died nor never had any hope for this to work out. His story had never been one full of drama as his mind made it out to be. If he had to choose, it would probably be one of those where those experiencing the story would slap their hands over their faces, saying how easy things could have gone. And occasionally laughing at him falling on his nose. Sometimes.

He flinches when Kageyama moves his head, his breath feeling hot at the crook of Hinata's neck and it takes him a moment or two to realize Kageyama is nudging his nose against it.

"Kageyama, that tickles," Hinata snorts but he doesn't make the slightest effort to move. It feels... nice. It feels comforting.

Kageyama doesn't reply at all but his arms tighten around Hinata's body, tail curled around one of Hinata's legs and fin lazily patting the skin there. Maybe this could have seemed menacing if it weren't for a certain warmth Hinata has never felt before. Kageyama was never warm on his own. Upon touching his skin, it was always, always colder than his own. But this isn't a type of physical warmth Hinata is feeling. It spreads within him and makes him feel oddly cozy for the chilly breeze.

As Hinata wants to lean his cheek against Kageyama's hair, he moves again, dragging the tip of his nose up Hinata's neck up to his jaw. Hinata tried not to gasp but it spills over his lips and he has no idea what he is feeling embarrassed for. He just happens to be very ticklish and he starts to get the feeling Kageyama is taking advantage of that. _Rude._

Along with his gasp, giggles drip over his lips and he wishes he could keep them inside but it's considerably difficult when a merman both tickles your feet and breathes against your neck, nuzzling his nose against your jaw. Is Kageyama trying to... make him laugh?

That, too and yet Hinata feels like this has more of a meaning to Kageyama than it might realize. Tightening his embrace just to loosen it a second later as if he is trying not to be too harsh without realizing it, portioning the amount of strength he has, to suit Hinata and not possibly hurt him again. Even though nothing happened before but it could have potentially and Kageyama seems to have figured that out on his own as well. Most likely by Hinata's anger though. 

...He wasn't exactly angry anymore anyway. In his own twisted way of thinking, Kageyama's action made sense. He didn't expect a human not to have abnormally strong fingers. A wild guess of Hinata's. As he didn't expect a merman to actually have abnormally strong fingers.

It dawns on him, then, that even after 2 months, even after absence, he never got to fully understand how Kageyama worked. How he behaved and how he felt, that much he can read by now but only after observing him. He feels like, when it matters, he wouldn't be able to tell what Kageyama thinks. As when he left, Hinata couldn't imagine why. Everything... has been one-sidedly thought of by him.

The merman rubs the tip of his nose against Hinata's cheek slightly as he pulls him a tiny little bit closer again. He's... probably having fun. Hinata opens his eyes to see an expression so peaceful on Kageyama's face out of the corner of his eyes that it makes him forget what happened a little bit ago. He has never looked less scary, never more beautiful either. His hair tickles against Hinata's temples and he wants to not sound ridiculous for once - but how would he manage when his giggles are in between a laugh and a snort?

"I'm sorry," he suddenly hears, Kageyama's breath tingling the skin on his cheeks as he speaks and he sounds so earnest it almost hurts. He's an idiot but... he's never once done anything out of ill intent. At least that much, Hinata is 100% sure. 120% sure, almost. "...And it's good to see you."

Hinata, for once, gets out a proper laugh and knocks his head against Kageyama's forehead lightly. "If you repeat it after me like that, it's like I forced you to say that."

Kageyama tenses up and he wears an expression that is unnecessarily serious as he shouts, "No, I mean that! I---" He deflates and leans his forehead against Hinata's shoulder again as his fingers grab onto Hinata's shirt. "I mean that."

"I know." Kageyama huffs at Hinata's confidence in his words but it doesn't feel like he is particularly displeased. Perhaps just a little irritated about admitting it. 

"...I was looking for my brother," Kageyama eventually says, after the silence had gotten exhausting for him, apparently. "He disappeared all of a sudden and I was trying to find him."

He pauses and Hinata opens his mouth to tell him, about how he has met Kuroo and about how his older brother and him have a sort of friendship now but Kageyama picks up the conversation faster. "...I would say that but it's a lie."

And that surprises Hinata. "What?"

Kageyama doesn't look up as he explains, "It would make for a good excuse why I haven't been here but it's not the truth. I heard he had gotten himself caught deliberately. I told myself I haven't come up here because I was worried but... it was a lie."

Hinata isn't quite sure what to say so he stays quiet and leans his head against Kageyama's. He has never quite understood Kageyama so far. But perhaps, this is the first step.

"I've been... afraid. To be here. With you."

There would have been a billion things Hinata would have imagined to be the reason - but this one Kageyama gives him hasn't been one of them. He presses his lips together almost painfully as Kageyama keeps on going.

"All I've been thinking about lately... has been how much I would like to be up here rather than down there. I've grown afraid that I don't want to return anymore. Because sometimes... I don't."

His voice weighs heavy in Hinata's ears. They... weren't as different, after all. Hinata can barely count the times he has been thinking about how he doesn't want to go back home, about how he would rather take Kageyama home with him, about how he would want to find a possibility to just grow a fish tail too. He never considered it to be mutual, for some reason.

"But I know I can't stay. My world is the sea, the tides and the torrents. And yours is... adventures and..."

Kageyama's voice gives way and Hinata chuckles. "It's not really."

The merman raises his head and the expression on his face is one Hinata would have liked to never see. He looks... lonely. Awfully so.

"My life isn't an adventure at all. I've told you all those stories to sound cool but guess what? I've never actually left this village in my entire life."

"So...?"

Hinata smiles wryly. "It was all a lie. I made up those stories. I mean, I've heard a lot of them from people who have visited the village so... it's not like they are not real. Aside from some details."

Kageyama doesn't look as disappointed as Hinata expected him to. He never planned on telling Kageyama like this. Or at all. Figured the merman would be better off not knowing and regarding him as a liar like everyone else. But he feels like Kageyama wouldn't say that after all.

"I knew that some stories were fishy. Like the one about those car thingies. They probably don't even exist, do they?" Kageyama's pout is back on his face and Hinata feels like he has missed this expression as well. It made him look so... human.

"Actually, cars do exist. That wasn't a lie. But like... trolls and fairies and that kind of stuff doesn't. ...Or so I thought."

"What do you mean 'So you thought'? Do they exist or don't they?"

"I originally thought that you are a legend as well. Merfolk, it's... you are just a myth to us humans like trolls and fairies are as well. Dragons too. And harpies."

Kageyama gasps in utter shock. "Y-You... mean dragons don't exist? B-But you said their scales looked like ours!"

"That's how they are usually depicted! Oh... but there are animals that look a bit like dragons. Like lizards and crocodiles kind of. Ever since I've met you, I've started to think that maybe, dragons might exist too. Just hidden. Like you."

Kageyama relaxes a little and there is a look in his eyes that is so uncharacteristic for him, Hinata is unable to tell what it is. He tends to think it is the aftershock but at the same time curiosity, still. Mixed with a little bit of disappointment, maybe. It makes Hinata laugh.

"I would have never thought dragons were your favourite."

"They were big and strong. And they did this light thing."

"Fire."

"Yeah, that! ...I actually don't know what fire looks like. But you said it's light."

Hinata nods. "And it's warm. Hot, actually. Like, you shouldn't touch it hot."

Kageyama's eyes light up at the word warm and Hinata is almost certain Kageyama would be the idiot to touch the flames if he were to ever see fire. "I want to feel that... I want to see it." His expression falls. "I... want to see everything..."

Hinata's heart does sort of a flip and he fears his heart might, as of now, stay upside down. "Me too. That's the reason I've thought of all those stories. I thought that if I couldn't see the world myself, then... I could just make up one of my own. One in which I have seen and experienced everything. I'm... sorry I lied to you."

Kageyama mumbles something and shakes his head. "I've been dreaming of all you've told me ever since I was younger." Hinata refrains from asking him 'When you were a tadpole?' and lets the merman continue. "But eventually I realized, with the time, that I would never be able to see the world up here. There were so many things I never knew of but wanted to. I'd see things in the sky sometimes but didn't know what they were. I asked my brothers and there were things they could tell me about but... a lot of things I never learnt about." His arms tighten around Hinata again. "Not until I met you."

"Then we're two, I guess," Hinata says, snickering and wriggles his arms out of Kageyama's firm embrace to lift his hands to Kageyama's cheeks. Colder than his palms, definitely but at his touch, Kageyama raises his head to look at Hinata with curiosity glistening in his eyes. His fin thrashes around from left to right, grip loosened around Hinata's leg.

Suddenly, the answer to Hinata's problems are all solved. They dissipated, crashed against the rocks along with the waves, just like that. So obvious yet so difficult for him to grasp, paralyzed in fear of the unknown yet so fascinated by the prospect.

"...What if I tell you I know a way how you can see the whole world?"

Kageyama scrunches his nose and looks doubtful. "Are you telling me stories again?"

"I can't blame you for thinking this now, I guess I dug my own grave," Hinata says, more to calm himself down than anything else, "but it does involve me telling you stories. About actual adventures. About _my_ adventures. And this time, they will really be mine. _I_ will be your legs and your eyes."

Kageyama still doesn't seem to follow, raising his eyebrows, head tilting and Hinata can feel his whole body vibrating along with his own laughter. As beautiful as he is, he can look so silly sometimes. Silly but very definitely still attractive. It's upsetting. "There is a sort of magic in the human world that lets me capture moments. And keep them."

"There is no magic," Kageyama quickly retorts but his voice wavers. It's almost too much fun. "You can't tell me dragons don't exist but magic does. That's stupid."

Hinata squishes Kageyama's cheeks between his palms and--- God, they are soft. Somehow, he didn't expect that. Kageyama's skin, covered in scales, it always seems to be fierce and thick rather than... Only now Hinata realizes how incredibly close they have been this entire time. How incredibly close they are now, forehead leaning against the other's. Hinata's eyes shoot back to Kageyama's after they slip down to his lips for a second and he feels his stomach bubbling. 

"Photos," he sputters suddenly, much to Kageyama's confusion. "It requires me to leave for a while but I will come back. With stories and with photos."

"What... are those?"

"Magic."

"Liar."

"I can show you. And then, you have to believe me."

Hinata rubs his nose against Kageyama's, leaving the merman petrified for a second, before rustling through his pockets and taking out his phone. It would do, for the moment. But if he planned on leaving, truly planned on travelling - not just for his sake but for Kageyama's as well - he would have to save up some money to get a proper camera. To make the best photos he could. 

Belatedly, Hinata realizes, after his entire phone's space is full of failed photos of him and Kageyama, that the donuts he bought for them went diving instead of him. But Kageyama seems to mind little that day. He hasn't missed the donuts as much as Hinata thought he would - but him all the more.

It's the first time Hinata looks up at the night sky, together with Kageyama, and doesn't go home until the sun rises again. 

He will leave for a while - but in exchange, he will be able to show Kageyama a world he has always dreamt of. A world Hinata has always dreamt of as well. And suddenly, as different, as intangible their worlds might have seemed - they have never been closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw your merman boyfriend sort of throws you off a cliff - relatable hinata feel   
> tfw your older brother sells your childhood stories and stupid nicknames for donuts - relatable kageyama feel except he doesn't know how tight hinata and kuroo are yet. he's in for a surprise
> 
> if you ever re-read this, drinking game for this chapter: take a shot every time hinata mentions a near-death experience


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my god the last time i updated is ages ago, i'm so sorry, i had a lot going on and couldn't bring up the energy to write this chapter but here we go! 
> 
> i do hope it was worth the wait, it was exceptionally much fun to write!

“He’s gone?” 

Hinata’s eyes widen and he feels the corners of his lips sinking involuntarily. Every now and then, Hinata would drop by and visit Kuroo as well, regardless whether he had Kageyama back now or not. Spending time with Kuroo was a lot different than spending time with Kageyama - though both mermen had the nice aftereffect of making Hinata think he might as well be able to take on the world if he can handle them. 

Merfolk are a weird species in this vast world full of (hopefully) odd creatures. Sort of… whimsical. To say the least. 

“He asked me to let him go,” Daichi says, scribbling something down a notebook absent-mindedly. “I told you, I have no plans of keeping Kuroo confined but he insisted. And now that he said he wanted to leave, I… set him free.” His voice sounds lower now, almost like a whisper as he tucks away the pen between the pages he’d written on. He always carries it around and jots down something quickly.

“Well, we are going to leave soon anyway,” he laughs and stuffs the notebook away in a swift motion into his pockets, almost as if he is trying to hide it. Not like Hinata hasn’t seen it already but it feels like he isn’t too keen on anyone knowing what he is writing in there. ...A mystery Hinata is very eager to resolve - but he harbours too much respect and gratitude towards Daichi to be as intrusive. Perhaps he’ll tell him, one day. 

“I know,” is all Hinata replies and his stomach convulses. Not in a bad way. In a sort of weird way, he always says when he has to describe it. Lack of words for a better description but he knows it’s not bad. Just unknown to him. Excitement mixed with pre-homesickness, something like that. 

“You can still stay if you are not sure about coming with us.” Daichi crosses his arms, a reassuring smile spreading on his lips. 

“Huh? No!” Hinata’s response is immediate, his first impulse speaking out of him. “I don’t want to stay! I want to go with you. To… the big city... “ Only then he realizes how unconvincing he sounds himself even though his feelings are genuine. This is his chance and Daichi had agreed right away to take him along. Said he’d know a friend of his who’d help him out with his plans. 

He wonders if they might work out. And hopes that person Daichi is friends with is nice. He probably is though. Daichi doesn’t seem like the type to have bad influence friends. And Asahi, his partner and best scuba-diver in their team, agreed when Daichi told Hinata about Suga, apparently the name of the person in question. 

“It’s not as big as you make it sound though, I hope you won’t be disappointed.” Daichi’s hearty laugh fills the room and it does make Hinata feel a little more at ease, like there is no possibility left that anything bad could happen to him. Even his mum said the same thing after Daichi came to visit his family, explaining and reassuring them that he would take care of their son like his life would depend on it. 

In fact, his parents, albeit sad to hear their son wanted to leave, agreed much quicker than Hinata expected. ‘If this is what makes you happy, Shou’ is the only thing they ever say when he as much as looks like he is about to voice a doubt. There has never been a time in his life Hinata has felt more blessed to have this kind of family. 

His sister, on the other hand, cried bitter tears and ignored him for a week entire before he baked her not just one or two cakes, no, three cakes and two plates full of cookies and watched her favourite movie with her - five times. He knows the songs from The Little Mermaid by hard now and wonders if he could sing one to Kageyama one day, just for the reaction. Under the Sea is probably a bad choice, considering the circumstances… he can think about that another time. He isn’t a good singer anyway. 

He shifts from one foot to another as he tries to drown out the melody of Under the Sea and keeping himself from humming it in the middle of a serious conversation. “I bet it is and you’re just saying that to make me feel less uneasy.”

“Well… is it working?” Hinata looks up, Daichi’s smile still having the same effect on him and yet he can’t bring himself to simply affirm.

“Not really.”

“It’s best not to worry too much about it,” Daichi then says and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “When you are there the first time, it might be. For you. It was back then for me too, when I came from the countryside. But you’ll get used to it quicker than you think and…” Daichi’s expression shifts into something Hinata equals to… pride? “You will see much more than just that. That’s your dream, after all.”

A smile spreads on Hinata’s lips uninvited but not unwelcome. “That’s right” _Not just mine_ , Hinata thinks, _Kageyama’s, too_. He wonders if he’s out hunting. He did say he’d be busy doing that the next days so they only ever saw each other in the evenings. Now, when the time was running shorter. ...Hinata presses his lips together, flinching when a palm hits his shoulder with more force than necessary. 

“Now, now,” Daichi hums, grin still plastered on his face. He is certainly something. Hinata can’t remember the last time he saw someone as impressive as Daichi. “Don’t lose your good disposition. If there is a chance for me to help you grow and find your way, you can count on me.”

“I will,” Hinata mumbles and he feels his good mood kicking in again, all his worries set aside. “Thanks, Daichi-san. Really. For everything.”

“No need to,” the other says, rubbing his neck almost as if he were a little flustered about Hinata’s honest expression of appreciation. “It would be a lie to say I’m not doing this because you remind me of myself. I know that I could have used the help of someone older and more experienced so… I feel like it’s my duty, in a way.” 

He doesn’t continue but Hinata can easily tell what he means so goes back to his usual smile and it feels much more comfortable like this, he finds, a lot more than that half-hearted excuse of a smile. And it is reciprocated by Daichi though not for long. His expression drops as if he suddenly remembered something. 

“By the way,” he says and nods, more to himself than to Hinata, “Kuroo told me to give you a message.”

“A message?” 

“Yes, something about coming to Paleskin Grotto. ...That sounds pretty shady to me though, I have never heard any of this grotto in the months I’ve been here.”

Hinata nods. He hasn’t heard that name in a while but shivers run down his spine as he does. Finally, a chance to go there. “I’m not surprised. Nobody really talks about it. It’s a place we aren’t supposed to ever go to. There are the wildest stories about that cave.”

“You would know,” Daichi snorts and crosses his arms, “but then why would he tell you to go there? Where in the world is it, anyway?”

“At the shore. You can’t see the entrance from the front though, you have to take… sort of a back way into the the grotto. Plus, at high tide you can’t enter because it’s entirely flooded.” Hinata scrunches his nose. Now that he thinks about it, perhaps it is a popular meeting spot for merfolk at the surface. It might be the reason he never saw any aside from Kageyama around. It actually makes sense like this. If merpeople meet up there, it’s no wonder humans wouldn’t dare to go there. 

“Is that so… well, right now it is high tide but… are you going to go?” Daichi doesn’t hide the worry in his voice and the upcoming ‘Do you want me to tag along?’ but Hinata nods quicker than Daichi can voice his thoughts. 

“I will. I trust Kuroo! I think we’re friends! I know a lot of things about him and he knows a lot of things about me,” Hinata says, more factual than he thought he would sound. He knows for sure that Kuroo is in love with Daichi and that he loves his family very much. ...That he can look very scary in hunting gear but that he isn’t as intimidating as he wants to be. He is a cunning personality but definitely not bad. 

Daichi ponders for a bit before shrugging and replying, “I can see where you are coming from. I don’t think he would put you into any danger.”

“So you trust him too?”

Surprisingly, Hinata feels like he has seen this type of smile before - on someone entirely else and entirely lovestruck. “He’s less of a bad guy than you’d expect,” he says and to Hinata it doesn’t sound much like a reply to his question but it’d do. For Hinata, it does. He feels like he saw a scene that made him sad, somehow. Just for a second. 

“Did he say when?”

“Merpeople and their weird way of expressing time…” Daichi sighs and Hinata snorts as he thinks about Kageyama’s way of telling him when to meet up. Most of the time it was by chance that Hinata happened to be there right when Kageyama wanted him to be - or perhaps he has a hidden Kageyama sense that makes him aware of when he is at the surface. Now that would be something. A Kageyama radar of some sort. Maybe it’s the amount of donuts he has shared with the merman. An unbreakable bond made of pure sugar. 

“I think it must be something like today at dusk. When the moon rises. You could go as soon as it is low tide. That’d be in about 3 hours and that should leave you to wait a little in the grotto until dusk,” Daichi says. 

3 hours. Hinata passes them with ease after saying goodbye to Daichi, grabbing a bite to eat, dropping by at home and watching The Little Mermaid with his sister for the 5th time this week. It will feel odd not being able to do things like these anymore. Be around his family whenever, see them bicker and laugh together but… he wouldn’t have it any other way and he knows his parents are just as proud as they are sad. ‘For our little sunshine to just go out into the big world,’ and Hinata meant to already cut in when they first started but it ended up in them making fun of his terrible sense of direction. Some family this is. 

The best, no question. 

When Hinata finds the entrance to the grotto, he thanks all deities above and under the sea he thought of taking a torch with him to light up the dark cave. The water had retracted entirely, making the grotto accessible - only barely though, as the entrance is narrow enough for Hinata to almost get stuck between rocks. When he wriggles free, he stands in a small cave, as unspectacular as it was dark. 

Occasional droplets of water dripping down on the floor keep Hinata on edge. He does have the spirit of an adventurer, he thinks, but this _is_ quite eerie. It feels like he isn’t alone, like someone is watching him but he pays it no mind (‘I can’t die here yet, I definitely can’t’) and looks around him. ...Cave might have been much when it’s simply a small hollow space between a cluster of rocks but it’s probably for the better that it isn’t particularly deep. 

When he takes a few steps ahead, he catches a glimpse of water - a small opening below sea level probably lets the water in. He wonders if that’s where Kuroo would wait for him. ...Where else, really, so he approaches the water carefully and hears something moving, torch lighting up an entirely empty corner when Hinata turns around abruptly. His imagination is running wild. For once, he curses it for being so vivid. 

“Well, I’ll just wait here,” he says out aloud, his voice echoing off the rocks, as he slips out of his jacket and spreads it on the ground, sitting down on it. No sign of anyone else but him here so he places the torch next to him and rustles through his pockets, pulling out his phone to pass some time. The reception is non-existent but thankfully he has some games to keep him company. 

The uneasy feeling that he is being watched doesn’t leave him though, not even when he is distracted. It might just be a bat. Or some frog or fish or… a merman? But he is sure whoever it’d be, they would have said something by now. He turns on the music of his game louder in an attempt to drive out the menacing thoughts. 

One thing Hinata has never learned from Kageyama is that merpeople are usually _very quiet hunters_. Not until he feels someone slide next to him, pressing against him and looking over his shoulder. 

“Is that some sort of magical shell?” the voice asks, _right next to Hinata’s ear_ and he doesn’t have the time to find it extremely pleasing albeit completely unknown to him as he yells at the top of his lungs and drops his phone - thankfully - into his lap. So much for a good combo. 

As he instinctively backed away from whoever it was next to him, the torchlight reveals a face as calm and composed as Hinata had never seen a person be before. Not to say absolutely stunning but Hinata is past being impressed by that (he says, but it’s a lie). Somewhat curly, messy hair but looking oddly tidy as well, sharp eyes like--- 

“Who _are_ you?” Hinata says, out of breath, eyes catching the screen of how he failed to get through the song. Figures. As they plan to lock back onto the pair of eyes before him, he ends up staring at a tail of pure red. Scales fiery, glistening in the bright but small light like velvet in the sun. 

“Tell me your name and I will tell you mine,” the merman says as he slides in closer again, and Hinata isn’t sure whether this is genuine curiosity or whether he has been chosen as the next snack. He remembers thinking Kuroo was difficult to decipher - but this merman just took his crown. 

“H-Hinata. My name. It’s Hinata.” Smooth. 

“Ah,” and God, he curses nature for giving merman voices that are downright charming, enticing and completely enchanting, “so it’s you. Please call me Akaashi.”

Hinata blinks, confused as to what to reply (and still slightly dazed). “Akaashi,” he simply repeats and nods. “Good evening.”

“...Evening?”

The light of the torch makes Akaashi seem eerily pale, shadows falling roughly on his face and figure as if he were a painting toned black too heavily. The fact that this is sort of the wrong merman doesn’t make Hinata feel better but he decides to go with the flow. When else would he have the occasion to talk to yet another merman? 

“Uh. Time of the day. Between afternoon and night,” he says instinctively but sees Akaashi’s confusion growing exponentially with every word more. “Never mind actually,” he waves it off shortly after, “it’s a human kind of thing.”

“Oh. I understand. Then good evening to you as well. ...Is this right?”

“Yeah! Thank you very much.” 

Akaashi slides in again, closer now and Hinata feels oddly reminded of Kageyama and his lack of understanding what personal space is. More curious than about him Akaashi seems to be about Hinata’s phone though. He closes in carefully and reaches out, touching the surface slowly with his fingers. The light of the screen makes the scales on his fingertips look like flames dancing beneath his nails. As the screen changes, Akaashi flinches back and Hinata can’t refrain from snorting. 

“Did I break it?”

“No, don’t worry. It just reacts by touch. You just kinda confirmed that I suck at this game which isn’t that wrong,” Hinata says and clicks through several screens before closing the game entirely and going back to his home screen. In the meantime, Akaashi already leant in again and Hinata remembers how Kageyama reacted exactly the same way when he first got out his phone to check what time it was.

“Oh, this is that phone thing, isn’t it? Sawamura has one of these too.”

Hinata flinches again when, at his back, another voice talks, definitely not Akaashi but this time, he knows who this is. It doesn’t make any difference in how much that scared him and, for the second time, Hinata yelps and leaps towards Akaashi. 

“What’s good, clownfish, did you miss me?”

“Don’t call me that!” Hinata hisses and realizes in that split second that he jumped right into Akaashi’s arms who wholeheartedly went along with it and wrapped his arms around him. He looks up to the merman wearing an expression like that would be the most natural thing to do. Who knows, perhaps it is. 

Still, he decides to slide out of the spontaneous embrace, nodding a small apology but doubting Akaashi understood it as such. ...Could it be that it is rude to apologize for that? Too much to mind. 

“Sorry, Hinata. Guess we kind of have a thing for scaring humans. But your reactions are priceless, honestly,” Kuroo says, grin broad on his face as much as Hinata can tell. He would pay actual money he’d spend on donuts otherwise for a proper source of light in this grotto. 

“I feel like I suddenly understand why you all like humans so much. They are interesting,” Akaashi says and Hinata feels the merman’s fingers pulling a strand of his hair from behind, force- but not painfully. “And so small.”

“Right? Though Hinata is sort of an especially short kind. Sawamura is bigger than him.”

“Sawamura, Sawamura. Aren’t you lovestruck. That’s the only word you can still stay, isn’t it,” Akaashi replies, voice unwavering though there is no malice whatsoever. It feels more like… teasing. All the while, he doesn’t stop examining Hinata properly as if to find the appeal of a human in its outer appearance. He won’t be as lucky, though, Hinata thinks. Humans aren’t nearly as beautiful as they are. 

“Wha--- I’m--- My own brother! Judging my way of speaking! My little baby brother! Have I raised you to be like this!” The dramatic tone in Kuroo’s voice almost makes Hinata forget about being upset at the fact that he has been called an “especially short kind”. And…

“Oh! You are Kageyama’s brother too!” he shouts in between Kuroo’s and Akaashi’s not-even-bickering, having to voice his realization in that exact moment. 

“It took you a while,” Akaashi says, smile spreading on his face and somehow he feels like there is a resemblance to Kuroo’s. Brothers… is this the reason Kuroo brought him here? “But yes. I am Kageyama’s older brother and I have heard a lot about you.”

“Good for you, Akaashi. At least one of us did.” Bitter as black coffee, that’s how Kuroo sounds to Hinata. 

“He was just scared you and Iwaizumi would fight if you knew he had a human mate. You can’t blame him, you know you two have been fighting a lot lately.”

“Look, that’s something else, we didn’t fight about that in general, it was just--- oh damn, better not.”

Akaashi raises an eyebrow as his hands slide down Hinata’s arms to hold his hands. There is a sensation very familiar to him, a fin dragged down his back but he knows this isn’t Kageyama this time. Akaashi doesn’t seem to realize he is doing that though so Hinata doesn’t say anything despite being curious what Akaashi meant. Somehow, he finds it a lot more interesting to hear the brothers interact. No such luck though as Akaashi decides to ignore his brother completely.

“Your hands are so small,” Akaashi says, rubbing his fingertips over Hinata’s fingers. Merpeople don’t seem to be aware that this is a quite intimate thing to do, holding hands and such. Kageyama was the same and Kuroo probably too though Hinata had no occasion to test it. How was that proverb again? When in Tokyo, do as Tokyo people do? Hinata is certain it was like that. 

“Well, I don’t hunt with them.”

He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have. War flashbacks hit him to when he last explained this to Kageyama. Although Akaashi behaves much more maturely than Kageyama (even than Kuroo), his curiosity equals Kageyama’s in the beginning. 

And so he keeps on talking for a while about why humans don’t have claws nor teeth, and listening to Akaashi’s genuine surprise and Kuroo’s attempts of seeming like he knew all of this (even though Daichi probably told him), failing to notice that there was the mention of another brother before. 

It doesn’t cross his mind at all. Not at all. Again, merpeople are _very, very quiet hunters_. Not that _this_ crosses Hinata’s mind either. 

"What a small example of a human."

The voice echoes within Hinata's body like the roar of a wild animal though much softer in its tone. He doesn't even dare turn around, Akaashi not at his back any longer but shifted to his right side while Kuroo sat on his left, his back entirely unguarded.

What a grave mistake. What a terrible, terrible mistake.

"Ah, Iwaizumi. So you did come after all. Took you pretty long," Kuroo says and Hinata feels like his first spontaneous reaction was the right one. Stiffen up and let breathing be the past. Straighten his back and not look back. His eyes adjusted to the darkness by now, he feels like he can see better or...?

"I have been here the whole time," Iwaizumi replies and the terrible realization hits Hinata as he glances over to Kuroo's side. There is his tail, sprawled out long, he is more likely bigger than Hinata originally thought. About 2.50 meters? Akaashi was considerably smaller than him, maybe ranging around 2 meters at maximum.

But the merman leaning in from behind over his shoulder felt _massive_. Heavy even though he was barely putting any effort in. Hinata's eyes shift again over to Kuroo's side, and there it is, the realization.

This merman is at least 2.80 meters long and his tail looks, even in the darkness, murderous enough to kill a person with a single motion of wiggling. Hinata can't make out colours, though he guesses it's a mix of green and blue, a gradient. Just like the other three brothers.

....The third brother. How could he have forgotten about him.

"It was too entertaining to listen to you so I thought I'd drop in later." His voice, unlike Kageyama's or Akaashi's or Kuroo's, it sounded raspy like the surface of a rough rock, of tough ground, hoarse and yet... it did have a different feeling to it than the others. _It was mighty_.

"Always a drama queen," Kuroo says and Hinata means to object for a second but finds that, for once, he is too slow.

"Says the right one." Akaashi shoots Kuroo down so quickly that his older brother is left hanging and suddenly Hinata understands what Kuroo meant whenever he said that he never gets to impress anyone back under the sea. He truly doesn't.

Now Iwaizumi, still a gigantic merman, still scary, shifts to curl around Hinata, looking at him properly. He... is a different kind of beauty. Just as his voice and Hinata would say he is surprised but figures it shouldn't. It's unfair how high the percentage of attractive mermen is. Absolutely unfair.

"So... you are Hinata?"

"Yes, sir!"

Silence returns for a moment until Kuroo snorts and fills the entire dark grotto with a horrendous type of laughter. _Way to go, Shouyou._ This is the first time he meets Kageyama's family and he makes a total fool out of himself. 

Oh. .... _Oh._

The sudden awareness that this, indeed, is a _family meeting_ takes away all of Hinata's fear and replaces it with first-class embarrassment. He feels his face burning up like the last cake he tried to bake for Natsu - or rather coal because that was all that was left of it.

He covers his face in hands in a meager attempt to hide how flustered he is but it is pointless, Akaashi trying to lift his hands away and reminding Hinata to never try arm wrestling against a merman (yet).

"Are you alright, Hinata?"

"Someone embarrassed himself~"

"Like you always do, Kuroo?"

Ruthless. Akaashi is absolutely _ruthless_. Hinata almost feels bad for Kuroo.

"Now, now. Like this, he has the worst kind of impression about us."

"Like it matters. If he’s Kageyama’s mate, he'll stay by his side even if we're shitty."

Hinata's heart skips a beat. Mate…? As in…?

"Would he?" Iwaizumi says and then turns to Hinata, eyes fixed on his. "Would you?"

"Like I'd ever have a single reason to leave Kageyama," he replies almost immediately, almost too early because it has been burning on his tongue, on his lips, in his entire being.

"You say this now," Akaashi suddenly speaks, "but isn't it you who _will_ leave? He told me about this. That you would be gone for a long time."

The brothers closed in on Hinata without him noticing until now but he feels no fear, no embarrassment anymore, in a sudden rush of adrenaline. He realizes what this meeting is about, all silly interaction aside, and he'll give them what they want. It's a scary thought to lay out your feelings out there - especially to the family of the person those feelings are directed to - and yet he has to win them over. He _wants_ to win them over.

Iwaizumi in particular, he hovers right behind Hinata, pressed against his back and it feels like he is ready to hurt him at any minute. His voice may sound warm, it may sound friendly but, and that Hinata knows, he doesn't want that right now. He wants to intimidate Hinata, he wants to show him that no matter what would happen--- but he isn't the only one.

Kuroo is uncharacteristically stern-faced, eyes set on Hinata even though he knows of his true intentions and yet this is the moment of truth. Likewise, Akaashi's eyes glisten even in the darkness and Hinata isn't foolish enough to underestimate them.

But he doesn't plan on allowing them to underestimate him and his feelings either.

"I do. I will leave. But not because I don't want to be by Kageyama's side. If I could, I would take him along with me. I would walk into hell or heaven or both to get something that would make it possible for him to come with me. But a thing like that doesn't exist."

The brothers keep quiet, unmoving, though he feels like they tensed up. All of them. Hinata's throat feels dry, itching but there is more for him to put out there.

"So I will go in his stead. What he can't do, what _you_ can't do, I can. I can walk up here at the surface, I can travel the country, the world, I can climb mountains and see the top of the world. I can reach it for him even when he is unable to. He gave me back my dream of believing in worlds that sound too weird to be real, he gave me back my will to see what is out there that I had lost... so it's my turn to give him back his dream as well. Of seeing the world up here, of exploring it... of experiencing it. That I will do, and I won't rest until I see this through."

Hinata has rarely felt calmer, rarely as sure of his words even though he always puts a lot of confidence into them but this is undoubtedly the one thing in his life that decided everything. Kageyama is that one thing with his short temper and his grimaces sometimes, with his calm sleeping face and his love for warmth and the sun, with his dreams that he had given up but will see fulfilled now that they have met. For that, Hinata would do anything. It’s been but a few months yet Kageyama, he changed everything so suddenly in Hinata’s life that, as quick as he usually was, it felt like he couldn’t catch up - but now that he has, it’s entirely out of question to fall behind again. 

For his own sake but also for Kageyama’s. He will show him everything he can’t see by himself. A view from the top, the whole world from above, if possible Hinata would grow wings to make that happen. 

“A-Ah…” Hinata starts as none of the brothers say anything at all though they seem a lot less tense. “I… It would be a lie to say I’m not also doing this for myself. It was my dream too, after all. But since both me and Kageyama share a dream, I want to make it come true even more. For both of us. It will be a long time but I promise,” Hinata takes a deep breath, “I promise that I will make up for the time I can’t be by his side by making him even happier afterwards. Maybe then he’ll also stop pulling grimaces.”

“I doubt that,” Akaashi cuts in quicker than an assassin’s dagger, “He admires Iwaizumi too much for that.”

“What exactly is the point of your words, Akaashi?”

“Nothing. Just that Kageyama takes after you a lot, big brother. A _lot_.”

“Are you saying I’m pulling grimaces?” Iwaizumi’s voice holds partly offense, partly worry, of that Hinata is oddly sure. 

“You are doing it as we speak,” Kuroo replies smugly. Hinata isn’t very surprised he gets chewed out by his brothers in hindsight. He wouldn't say Kuroo deserves it but it does fel like he is often not favouring himself too much with his words.

Before Iwaizumi can angrily throw back a snark, Hinata snorts and nods. “You’re a really normal family, alright. I thought it’d be different for merfolk but… you are really surprisingly normal.”

The brothers exchange looks for a bit until Iwaizumi’s tail curls around Hinata’s back tighter. He rustles and moves, pulls up something and holds Hinata’s hand open to drop something that feels a lot like some sort of jewelry into his palm. Hinata turns to Iwaizumi in confusion to find a fond smile covering his face entirely in tenderness, passing on the certain warmth onto Hinata as well. 

“Hearing your words, I think you should have this.This is something we made. Originally, Kageyama should have made it by himself but being the youngest, it didn’t quite turn out well. He desperately tried but unfortunately, he couldn’t fix it and stubborn as he is - also my fault, I suppose - he wouldn’t ask us for help. Make sure to give this to him before you leave. It was yours to begin with.”

Hinata leans down to examine what Iwaizumi gave him more thoroughly in the dim light. It’s… what Hinata supposes is a necklace covered in beads and shells in all sorts of warm colours. Beads of glass, marbles, even shards that were carefully cut to be round… it looked like quite some work. 

“Is this really okay? For me to give him something I didn’t make myself?”

“That’s not the important part of it. Just give that to him, he’ll know what to do,” Kuroo retorts and slaps Hinata’s back. “You also better make some nose contact there. You know.”

Nose contact? Merfolk and their weird expressions. Kuroo’s grin suggests it means something but Hinata doesn’t catch on so his eyes roam from Kuroo to Akaashi who simply smiles at him just to eventually desperately look at Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi slides in closer. It doesn’t feel menacing at all anymore even though he is still too large for his own good. “Say, Hinata. Have you ever touched Kageyama with your nose?”

Hinata crosses his arms and furrows his eyebrows in an attempt to remember. In the beginning not but there has been more of that ever since Kageyama nearly threw him off a cliff. That day was especially heavy on nose-touching though, that much Hinata remembers. “Sometimes? Kageyama does that a lot lately though. It tickles. It's... nice.”

Akaashi presses his lips together, Kuroo’s face is a single grin, Iwaizumi smiles as if he has heard the most innocent story in his life and Hinata is almost certain he shouldn’t ask. He definitely shouldn't. 

“Why?”

“Ah, so you don't know? Kisses for our kind are shared with our noses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kageyama has three overprotective brothers, kuroo is exceptionally dramatic, akaashi is more curious and lively than he seems and iwaizumi is very big and strong but kageyama has his love for warmth from him as well
> 
> if you re-read the last chapter with the information you got at the end of this one, you will feel how flustered i was writing that entire second half of the chapter (or so i hope)
> 
> also, i'm sorry for the lack of donuts, hinata doesn't have any money for extra donuts anymore


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only took me half a year, oh man what a wild ride, i'm starved and tired but this is it folks, this is the last chapter! go ahead and enjoy it, i hope it was worth the long wait!

How do you deal with the fact that your first kiss has been with a very beautiful but rude merman you decided to leave for a while for both of your sakes? Hinata decided not to deal with it at all and talking himself out of the fact that it _had_ been his first kiss in the first place. For merfolk, rubbing noses might be a kiss but for humans? He still had another chance for a first kiss _he is properly aware of._

Not that Hinata could think of anyone else to kiss but that exact merman anyway but the way it happened was too unspectacular. In fact, Hinata didn’t even know they kissed and embarrassingly also not that he initiated the kiss. Their faces were just close enough for some exchange of affection but he hadn’t been prepared in mind and soul to exchange _a kiss_. Only he did and it hadn’t been the fireworks novels suggested first kisses being, more like over- and underdoing it at the same time if that was possible (it probably isn’t but Hinata isn’t one to bother with what’s possible or not, he has met an entire family of mermen.) 

Hinata had been aware that life wasn’t all about spectacular events and fireworks ever since he first met Kageyama which - would it have been a novel - would have been more of a boom and less of a realization that fantastical beings are, in fact, not behaving much differently than humans would - but like hell would Hinata allow life to ruin his own personal story like this by simplifying the biggest of events like it did. Meeting a merman, kissing the same merman, not to talk about how innocent nuzzling suddenly ended up giving Hinata a mix of various emotions whenever he thought back to it.

The worst was that those thoughts never felt bad in the slightest - only made Hinata realize he’d grown too fond to mind that as special as his story should have been, it always ended up serving situations in an underwhelmingly normal way. Considering Kageyama had a fishtail, that is. It… felt comfortable, as it was, with no booms nor fireworks. (Hinata would still use his second chance for a first kiss, and this time do it readily!)

Then again, after sitting entirely still as Kageyama’s older brothers surrounded him more affectionately than he initially thought, he found out Kageyama had been the one to overdo it first by introducing himself with his entire name. (Both Kuroo and Iwaizumi entered a state of stupor when they heard Akaashi saying it so nonchalantly. Hinata figures they never heard about that before.) Hinata wouldn’t have even deemed it weird in the first place which, when he voiced it like that, ended in a heated discussion whether humans or merfolk had the better naming system. Who would have thought their first names would actually just be given to their mates and not even to their families? 

Oddly, the eldest brother Iwaizumi didn’t seem as averse to the idea of having a family name for all members of the same family and given names to differentiate as opposed to a bristling Kuroo who simply couldn’t accept how easily humans would share their given names with others. Suddenly, it made more sense to Hinata then, why Kuroo had initially been rather hostile and snarky towards him, considering he referred to Daichi as, well, Daichi. 

For as frank as Kageyama had constantly been, to the point he sometimes seemed crude, Hinata also heard from his brothers that Kageyama always had trouble bonding with others due to his nature. Though meaning well, he easily hurt others, especially with his words. When Hinata told them about how Kageyama shoved him off a cliff after being doubted, they all nodded with a sigh (leaving aside Kuroo’s faint snickering) and told him that Kageyama would never change his competitive spirit. Wouldn’t keep Hinata from provoking him every now and then anyway. ...He did enjoy riling Kageyama up even if it made him fear for his life for a split second. He felt like he could face that, every now and then. Rarely. Sometimes.

Ever since, Hinata found himself unable to stop thinking about how little he thought he meant to Kageyama - but how much it turned out he actually did. And how mutual it was. And still is.

Admittingly, it is a little scary how attached he is to a merman he’s known for only a few months and yet, isn’t it natural to cling to the person that gave you back your dreams and inspired you to do what you have always wanted to? Not to say giving it even more of a meaning than being a simple journey of fulfilling himself. He will walk until his legs tire, his arms go sore and his vision goes blurry if he has to if it means giving Kageyama what he has dreamt of.

Before he can properly get nervous and already feel symptoms of homesickness, the days pass and leave him with one more day to see the merman. Frankly, Hinata had snuck out during packing every now and then to see whether Kageyama would be waiting just to spend a little bit of time with him but they never ended up seeing each other. Perhaps they missed each other. Perhaps it had simply gotten too chilly for Kageyama to laze around at the beach, probably just the cold keeping him from staying at the surface too much. 

Excitement bubbles up in his stomach when he races down the beach, everything prepared and ready, with enough time to spend on bickering with Kageyama. He will turn up for sure, at least popping his head out the water to see whether Hinata is there or not and beam at the sight of him--- that might be a bit of his own imagination but he allows himself to dream again, even about small things like these.

To his surprise, he isn’t the first one at the usual rock (and it doesn’t annoy him _at all_ but why did the merman have to best him again?) as he catches sight of a bare back covered in scales sparkling like gems even with this weather devoid of sun. Hinata’s feet stand still like glued to the base of the rock. Even though he wants nothing more but to walk up to Kageyama’s side, greet him, have him curl around him as it has always been, his feet simply won’t budge.

There has always been one thing Hinata asked Kageyama to do - always to be rejected. Even challenging him didn’t work and Hinata decided to leave it alone, realizing that there had to be a reason why Kageyama wouldn’t sing. He was a merman and stories had it that merfolk was a bunch with beautiful voices. He figured that, perhaps, that had been a lie too, an invention even if their voices sounded too pleasant when speaking for them to have awful singing voices. 

It turns out Kageyama is far from a terrible singer, every note of his song striking Hinata right down to his core, goosebumps rushing over his skin almost erratically. Hinata has never been able to tear his eyes away from Kageyama but it has never been more difficult than now. It weighs heavily on his heart, the melody of Kageyama’s song tearing it down and drowning it deep underwater without giving it the chance to breathe again. Never again. 

As beautiful as it sounds, melancholy is woven into every tone, into every wavering word of a language Hinata doesn’t understand but he doesn’t need to. The sentiment behind it isn’t unknown to him, shivers running down his back, his mind blanking out entirely the more he listens. 

There isn’t a single word, a single phrase that expresses the feeling of missing someone better than this song does, voice so breathtakingly, heartbreakingly dazzling yet somber at the same time. He can’t stop listening, can’t stop staring either, he can’t do anything but _drown_ in this feeling as well---

“Hinata!”

He flinches at the sound of his own name, blinking so quickly that it makes his eyes hurt so he goes for squeezing them tightly once and opening them for good afterwards. The surprise is as big as it was before when he saw Kageyama, the sea closer than he remembers it being when he couldn’t move away and a pair of strong arms hugging him firmly from behind. 

Too firmly. It’s hard to breathe, his hands tugging at Kageyama’s arms to loosen his grip a little because his voice won’t sound like this but the merman doesn’t react, instead squeezes him a little tighter, with a certain kind of urgency, as he rubs his forehead against Hinata’s shoulder. “I’m sorry...”

“It’s okay… also could you… maybe...” Hinata pulls at Kageyama’s arms again, this time successfully. He eases up, embrace not quite as tight anymore and Hinata takes the chance to take a deep breath. And finding his ribs hurt a little too much for them to be okay but he would worry about that if it still hurts by tomorrow. “Thanks… now I get it when they say deadly love. It’s that kind of thing with you, isn’t it?”

Hinata laughs but Kageyama doesn’t seem to find his joke as funny as he does. He lets go of him, pulling his arms and his head back carefully. It makes Hinata’s insides twist uncomfortably. He has gotten used to Kageyama’s skinship by now, even to how rough he can be at times. In a way, the hug from before didn’t make Hinata unhappy at all and he might have wished for a second to be sturdy enough to endure it. 

“Sorry,” Kageyama says with a voice so low Hinata hardly hears it at first. This isn’t like him at all, nothing of this is like him at all. He doesn’t even curl his tail around him as always. 

If only that would be the worst thing. That prize is taken by Kageyama’s expression and suddenly, Hinata remembers his song. Vaguely. ...It’s odd how vague it is when he heard it just minutes ago. In fact, when did he walk up to Kageyama and why did he call out to him so desperately before? 

So Hinata takes both of his palms and with a good portion of force, slaps Kageyama’s cheeks before cupping them tightly enough to make Hinata snort at the stupid grimace he’s pulling. “I’m not going to spend my last day here with you moping and being like this, you hear me? Also, don’t murder me for slapping your cheeks, I honestly forgot you have mad strength.”

Kageyama’s eyes widen at first, then he squints which makes his squished face look even more ridiculous just to hiss, “This barely hurt me anyway.” He wraps his hands around Hinata’s wrists and pulls them away, with considerable strength but without any pain inflicted. “I didn’t know you were standing there. If I knew, I would have never continued.”

“Singing? It was beautiful though. I always thought you suck at it, that’s why you don’t do it.”

Kageyama sighs as he tries to soften his glare. (It doesn’t work.) “Why do you always have to assume I suck at something by default? I’m not _you_.”

This time, it is Hinata scrunching up his eyes. “Wow. Really? _Really?_ Why else wouldn’t you do something then! Especially if you’re great at it, there’s no point in not doing it.”

“If it drives you mad, there is a point.”

Hinata opens his mouth, closes it again and he has a slight deja-vu. Kageyama isn’t a particularly good talker but he does have comebacks that hit all the wrong spots - mostly unintentionally, Hinata wants to believe. “Huh? What?”

“Our singing drives humans insane,” Kageyama says and his tail slips around Hinata’s lower back as he draws in closer. “I didn’t know what Iwaizumi meant when he said that but… I guess you heard me singing. You tried to jump down the cliff and wouldn’t listen to me calling out to you either so I grabbed you before you could fall.”

“I did _what_? I don’t remember that!”

Kageyama wraps his arms around Hinata and with no warning at all, lifts him up onto his lap. Despite having hard scales, it is not as uncomfortable as Hinata originally thought it would be. He realized that last time already. ...This is almost exactly like last time, except he doesn’t remember half of the dramatic part. 

Again, Kageyama rubs his forehead against Hinata’s shoulder both apologetically and affectionately and Hinata isn’t sure how much more of this his heart could take. For being so rude and nasty, Kageyama was tame most of the time, trying to fix the bullshit he spouted without thinking by being extra touchy-feelsy. 

It’s probably bad Hinata doesn’t mind it as much if that’s what he gets for it. So he ruffles Kageyama’s hair and rests it on his head for a second, simply listening to him breathe quietly. “It’s too bad though… you have such a beautiful voice, it’s a waste that all you do with it is insult me.”

Hinata giggles when Kageyama looks at him indignantly, offended at the sheer audacity Hinata has to say something like this. It would be a lie to say Hinata doesn’t enjoy provoking Kageyama. It’s fun and Kageyama is, as opposed to what Hinata used to think, a lot less scary when angry than he seems. It’s almost endearing. 

“I’m not just insulting you.”

“You call me small half of the time.”

“That’s not an insult! That’s the truth!”

Silence. There is a particular large wave crashing against the rock that gives the entire scene the dramatic hue Hinata needed for this to work out as he imagined it and for once, life hasn’t let him down. 

Kageyama’s arms around him tighten again as he buries his face at Hinata’s neck with a pout on his face at the lack of reaction and for a bit, all Hinata does is breathe in and out, at the same pace as Kageyama does. 

“You’re not angry?” Kageyama asks after a while so carefully that it’s scarier to Hinata than if he were actually yelling. 

“No, I’m not. You still caught me. And almost broke my ribs but that’s another story. I can hardly be angry at you when you save my life.”

“Really? Because last time you were pretty furious when I did save you. And it was my fault this time too.”

“Well, you know. I’m a fair guy. I was mad last time because you _pushed_ me. That wasn’t an accident. You singing was. ...I mean, an accident as in shit happened not that you were terrible at it and I had to listen to it because there are weird things you can’t tear your eyes away from. Which… isn’t all that untrue either but mainly because your voice sounded nice.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow at Hinata rambling and leans his head back down on Hinata’s shoulder while nodding, confused. “You… don’t make any sense but alright then.”

“I mean, you didn’t want to sing so this wouldn’t happen in the first place, right? I can’t be mad at you then, if you’ve always tried to protect me. That’s actually a really nice and considerate thing you did there,” Hinata says and pats Kageyama’s hair. It never fails to amaze Hinata how thick yet soft it feels like under his palms. There aren’t going to be any chances for him to enjoy this as leisurely as the past months for a while.

He shouldn’t be sad. He isn’t, in particular. But he knows he will miss home. His family, and his town and Kageyama. His brothers too. He would have liked to get to know them better than that one time in a tiny cramped grotto. 

“Ah, that reminds me,” Hinata says, finding Kageyama burying his face at the crook of his neck sheepishly, lips pressed together like he was trying to hide some sort of facial reaction (which just made him look sillier), “Your brothers gave me something for you. They told you they met me, right?”

The merman nods, face relaxing as he gives Hinata another squeeze. “Yeah. Can’t believe they sent me out hunting just so they could meet you without me. ...They weren’t embarrassing, right?”

“No.” Hinata snorts. “...Maybe a little bit. But you are their tiny tadpole brother, aren’t you?” 

Kageyama tenses up, tail thrashing from one side to another. “I’m _killing_ them.”

“You’re definitely the type for deadly love.” Hinata rummages through his pockets and pulls out the necklace Iwaizumi handed to him. He gives it to Kageyama before he could get any angrier and there is an expression on his face Hinata hasn’t seen before. He’s… moved.

“This… they…” He clutches it in his palm, face like he is about to cry. But he doesn’t. ...Do merpeople cry in the first place? It probably makes no sense underwater. “I looked for this for such a long time…”

“Well, they said you would know what to do if I gave this to you. ...And how it was mine to begin with. I have no idea what they meant.”

“You don’t have something like this?” Kageyama turns his face to Hinata, and it’s far too close, _far too close_ for Hinata not to fall into the temptation of ruining his second first kiss too. There is this genuine curiosity carved into every feature of Kageyama’s face, the most beautiful of any of his expressions--- but instead Hinata simply shakes his head, voice raspy when he answers. 

“I don’t know what this is for. Or what it even is. ...Some sort of necklace?”

Kageyama snorts and unknots it carefully, both arms still wrapped around Hinata loosely with his chin resting on Hinata’s shoulder. His tail is wrapped around Hinata’s leg and it’s still the biggest mystery how merfolk’s tails work. They seem more like snakes than like fish. ...Maybe more like dragon’s tails after all, just with a pretty fin attached to it. That sounds cooler. “It’s a hairchain. It’s a tradition to weave a hairchain to propose to your future mate.”

Hinata’s face burns at the notion of it, insides somersaulting at the sound of Kageyama’s voice explaining that so softly. Now of all times, he has to sound gentle. What a _joke_. He isn’t nervous either. Not in the slightest. How irritating. 

“Then, when it’s all done, you ask them if they want to be your mate. If they agree, it is split in half, one part given to one mate and the other given to the other. You braid it into each other’s hair and give your mate names to one another.”

“What’s when they don’t want to?”

“They break the chain irreparably.” 

Hinata gulps. “Savage. You could just… kindly refuse. Why is everything so brutal with your folks?”

“Why is your lot so weak-hearted is the better question.”

Both Hinata and Kageyama exchange a fiery look out of pure competition to see which one gives in earlier. Hinata absolutely doesn’t pump his fist at the fact that Kageyama is the first to avert his eyes even if it is to look back at the hairchain in his hands. It _is_ a win against a merman nonetheless. 

“Your brothers said they finished it for you. I have no idea why they wouldn’t give it back to you but to me instead, though.”

“Me neither. I wasn’t planning on giving it to you at this point yet.”

And that’s where the sort of unintentionally hurtful part of Kageyama’s personality shows. With the almost-getting killed parts he could still deal with, knowing Kageyama closeby to rescue him as quickly as he shoves him off a cliff (honestly, who does that?). But Kageyama’s frankness, that’s the truly murderous part about him. 

“Ah, really? Do I still have to prove myself worthy? Like lifting you ten times and catching a shark with my teeth? Because if yes, I’m probably not the right choice for you.” Hinata tried not to sound bitter. For about a split-second. And scrunches his nose at himself when he remembers how he used to hate it when characters reacted like this in any kind of novel instead of letting the other speak first. ...Except this was Kageyama, there probably is no aftermath to what he said. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you couldn’t even lift me once with your scrawny arms,” and that’s where things get more hurtful, in fact. Although, technically, Kageyama probably very likely possibly has a point there and even if he would be able to lift him eventually (which Hinata swears he will manage to), the shark part turns out to be more challenging than that. Not entirely impossible but assumably not with one single human life. 

“You complained about me assuming you don’t do thing because you can’t and then do the same thing with me? Who says I can’t lift you?”

“Go ahead and try. I don’t mind,” Kageyama says calmly, pulling his arms back to let Hinata stand up. 

The battle doesn’t last more than a few minutes of Hinata wondering whether merpeople might be made out of solid rocks because this is impossible to heave. They don’t even _look_ heavy. ...Kageyama doesn’t. He wouldn’t want to try and lift one of his older brothers. Especially not Iwaizumi. 

“I told you so.”

“Shut up, god, you’re obnoxious. We’re still even today!” One win for him, one for Kageyama, it’s all still balanced. Everything is still open. He ignores Kageyama’s puzzled expression and sits down next to him with so much momentum that the pain goes through every single one of his bones. He doesn’t show a single thing on his face though, he can pass on another one of Kageyama’s antics. His fingers are still prickling with the feeling of his fingertips brushing over the scales of Kageyama’s back, trying to lift him up or how Kageyama wrapped his arm around his neck and how the feeling of it still lingers despite not being warm at all. 

His fin is running over Hinata’s back again and even though he would like to be slightly angry at Kageyama for winning this round without actually doing anything at all, Hinata can’t find it in him when it’s such a soothing gesture to him by now. 

“You’re still warm even though it’s cold outside,” Kageyama says, fin wandering down as he draws closer again. 

“I’m usually warm, even in the coldest winters. It’s annoying sometimes because people go ahead and grab my hands to warm up just to leave me be afterwards.”

“Now you’re angry.”

Hinata turns to Kageyama to look him deadpan in the eyes, but decides not to sass him when he realizes Kageyama is a) slightly proud of noticing that and b) a complete idiot when it comes to this sort of thing. “Well, yeah. It’s not a nice feeling. It’s more like… being used for the sole reason of being warm.”

Kageyama probably doesn’t read anything into this. He wouldn’t, he always takes everything literally. After all, merfolk doesn’t think about unnecessary things like humans do. His tail wraps around him and the only thing missing would be for Kageyama to sprawl all over his lap like he used to. Instead, he nestles closer for another hug. And Hinata, human as he still is, weak-heartedly gives in. And breathes out. 

Wasn’t he the one who said he didn’t come here to be moping around? Now that makes him look like a total hypocrite. Not that Kageyama minds, nuzzling his neck quietly. 

This is happening again and knowing what it means this time around, Hinata isn’t sure whether to indulge himself or say something. Without being able to decide, giggles spill over his lips. “You’re tickling me again.”

“What’s up with that?” Kageyama asks, apparently feeling attacked at the notion of it, “What’s with that tickling thing?”

“...You’re not ticklish? Oh, wait, sure, your skin is probably too hard. Uh, that’s… kind of a funny feeling? Like it’s all prickly and I think I read before that it originated from having bugs crawl over your--- okay, no, I don’t want to think about that.” Talk about getting too much into talking. He keeps ending up in situations where he has to interrupt himself because the things he talks about are too nasty to imagine. He should save counting seahorses for times like these.

“That sounds gross.”

“Yeah, being ticklish is a pain in the ass but it’s fine with you. It feels ticklish in a good way.”

Kageyama squints, obviously doubting Hinata’s words but still returning to his original position. It wasn’t a lie. It does feel good in its own way. It’s always been an affectionate gesture to Hinata and the fact that these are actually kisses and kissing someone’s neck is the beginning of making out which leaves Hinata to wonder about what _would_ come afterwards. 

He groans, ruffling his hair in frustration over an imagination too vivid and leaving Kageyama entirely bewildered as he tenses up. 

“What now!?”

“I don’t know what now, you tell me!”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow, fin grazing over Hinata’s legs and Hinata feels like he has to change the topic if he doesn’t want this to end up in being enlightened how stuff like _that_ would work out between a human and a merman. Not at all, that’s how Hinata decides, his brain needs to _stop_. 

“So, um.” Good start. He takes a deep breath, Kageyama slowly relaxing again, too. “You… said you didn’t want to give me the hairchain, right? But… it is for me?”

Kageyama seems to have given up on settling for a cozy hug, sliding his arms away to simply sit next to Hinata. He doesn’t pull back his tail though, instead having it trail up Hinata’s body to his neck (he ignores the shudders), patting his hair. Roughly. 

“Ow, what---hey, ow, what are you doing!? Are you slapping me with your tail!?” Hinata tries to cover the top of his head with his hands, to no avail. That just ends up hurting more.

“I’m trying to get your sense back to what’s up there. What sort of question was that?”

“Would you stop!?” Kageyama ends it with a particularly fierce pat (slap, in Hinata’s language) and has Hinata hisses at him. “What’s your deal!?”

Then, Kageyama turns to Hinata and he reflexively lifts his hands but Kageyama is quicker than him. Of course he is. He grabs Hinata’s collar and yanks him, Hinata grabbing onto his wrists tightly to lower the impact. “No, what’s yours!? Who else am I supposed to give this to!? Do you think I have someone else I can’t stop thinking about!? It’s getting annoying because I never thought about anything and now all I have on my mind is your voice buzzing and the things you tell me about a world that I will never be able to see! Even if you go out there and tell me about everything, it still doesn’t change a damn fact that you make me think about wanting to live in _your_ world rather than in mine! I want to go with you and discover all those things you’ll see with you and I want you to talk to me more and---”

He loosens his grip and averts his eyes, Hinata grabbing onto his wrists tighter without saying anything. “Because of you, I keep thinking about unnecessary things all the time and it’s scary. I can’t give that thing to you yet unless I can’t understand that it’s not possible. I thought I did but…”

Kageyama lets go, without meeting Hinata’s eyes but before he can pull back his hands too, Hinata holds onto them and laces their fingers together. Kageyama might be strong but even gestures like these should make a brickhead like him understand. “I know how you feel. I keep thinking about that too. It would be better if we could just… you know, be of the same kind? It would be easier. But if there’s one thing I learnt about life is that it’s amazingly unspectacular even when the coolest things happen and it keeps getting more difficult. But it’s about making impossible things possible somehow, right? It’s kind of like with you challenging me. Life does the same thing. Except… with life I can still sort of deal.”

Kageyama clicks his tongue, squeezing Hinata’s fingers between his and rubbing his fingertips over the back of Hinata’s hands. Despite being covered in scales, his fingertips don’t scratch nor hurt. They feel weirdly smooth, like freshly polished kitchen tiles he could slide over with the right socks. “So you do admit that you can’t do most of the things I challenge you to?”

“So _that’s_ what you kept from my wise words? ...I’d be amazed if I didn’t know you better.” Kageyama’s tail wraps around his waist and pulls him in closer. Definitely having snake ancestors, this isn’t anatomically possible otherwise. It weighs a lot, resting on Hinata’s lap like this. So that’s why he’s so heavy. “Then again, even though it pisses me off, I really can’t do most things you can. Because I’m human and you are not. And then, there’s things that only I can do, and those I will do for you too. I told you so, right? ...If I found a way to make you come with me, I’d use it in a heartbeat.” He leans his forehead against Kageyama’s and giggles. “But you saw how well I can lift you. ...Just you see, I’m gonna get so ripped, I’ll manage.”

Kageyama snorts and rubs his forehead against Hinata’s, fin slipping under Hinata’s shirt partially. It’s probably just an accident, Kageyama’s face suggesting no evil but it doesn’t fail to make Hinata flush. “Dream on, puny human.”

He laughs, Kageyama does and it makes Hinata realize how rarely it happened before. He’d crack a smile every now and then, lovely when he felt unobserved, scary when forced to do so. But Kageyama laughing like this, it has a nice ring to it even if it is sort of smug and yet Hinata wants to memorize it and carry it with him. 

“Uh, Hinata?” Kageyama stares at him with eyes wide. “You’re dripping water out of your eyes.”

“Wha--” His voice gives way and his hands come up to his cheeks. When and _why_ did he start crying, there is no reason for this, he meant to stay cool and composed in comparison to a whiny Kageyama who would tell him how much he’d miss him but now?

“Are you okay? Did I break you? Is this normal?” He shuffles in closer, grabbing Hinata’s hands and pulling them away to keep him from rubbing his tears away. He’s far too close again, their noses almost touching, his stare too intense. 

Hinata hisses, trying to wrestle his hands free to cover his face because he could have passed on yet another opportunity for Kageyama to make fun of him and his weak-hearted self. Even though Kageyama’s expression suggests worry more than anything else. “I’m fine, I… don’t even know why this is happening.”

Again with the baffled look on his face. It looks so silly, Hinata almost bursts out in laughter if his vision wouldn’t be clouded by more tears and where do they even keep coming from!? It’s irritating, making Hinata angrier with every second. “Are you sick?”

“No! No, I’m not! I don’t know what’s wrong and--- wait.” Hinata swallows down a sob and stares at Kageyama, tears dripping from the corner of his eyes. “You… really don’t cry, do you?”

“What?”

“Crying! This!” Hinata gestures at his face, with Kageyama’s hands glued on his. “Leaking out of your eyes for no reason! And looking gross and uncool while doing it! Getting a snotty nose and puffed red eyes that get itchy after a while even after you stopped crying!”

“This sounds so inconvenient, is this… a normal thing for you?” Kageyama scrunches his nose, but still drawing closer. The tip of his nose is touching Hinata’s cheek but he can’t be bothered to think about that for now. 

“Inconve--- Yeah, you’re right, this is pretty damn inconvenient! It makes me look lame! It does happen a lot when you’re feeling sad though. Sometimes when you are really happy too but usually… crying is something you do when you’re sad.”

Kageyama’s eyes dart up to Hinata’s so quickly he flinches, stare intense but not eerily so. “You’re sad? Is that water washing sad things out of your mind?”

Hinata’s mouth flaps open because he has hardly heard any explanation more innocent than that one. Even human children are rarely found to see a positive thing about crying like this. “It’s not that easy, but I guess that’s what it’s supposed to do. A lot of humans feel better after they’re crying. Emotionally, that is. The itchy eyes and the headaches still make it uncomfortable though. ...That water is also called tears, by the way.”

“Oh,” Kageyama says, sounding somewhat let down by the reply. His tail tightens the grip on Hinata and so do his hands when he leans in on Hinata’s face and grazes his cheek. With his tongue. 

Hinata freezes, tense from head to toe. His tears have stopped, that’s the good news. The bad news is that Kageyama licks the remaining tears off his face and Hinata can’t bring himself to stop the merman because he’s doing it out of curiosity. Telling him that’s sort of inappropriate and nothing people do is beyond him. He curses himself for snickering as a reaction. Why did life have to make him ticklish, of all things? 

“Kageyama, stop that, you’re tickling me again,” he murmurs, voice wavering as he tries to shove Kageyama’s face away with no power at all. It’s half-hearted because Hinata might find it a little bit endearing. 

“But tears are bad, aren’t they? Since they itch and come out when you’re sad but don’t wash sad thoughts away, they are useless. So they have to go.”

Hinata keeps in a snort, much to Kageyama’s dismay who grumbles but continues. It doesn’t stop tickling, less even when Hinata realizes that Kageyama’s tongue is completely dry with the exception for his own tears. Kind of like a cat’s tongue. Hinata keeps it to himself, remembering Kageyama doesn’t particularly like ‘those four-legged hairy monsters’. 

“They taste like the sea,” Kageyama breathes quietly and Hinata’s cheeks burn at the sound of his voice so closely. It’s odd to remember that when he’s been _licking his face all over for minutes_. Kageyama’s lips and his nose brush against his cheek and Hinata tenses up at the goosebumps this sensation gives him. 

He is craving Kageyama’s skinship, it’s as simple as that. It has always been, with the merman so keen on sticking close to him, Hinata has gotten used to a certain standard of proximity. Though this might be a little too close for his self-control. He thinks it can hardly get any worse than this, if he brings himself through this without kissing Kageyama, he can do it until there is the right fireworks moment. He could spite life nice and slow. 

Except life gives him Kageyama smiling against his cheek and breathing, “That kind of makes you part of my world after all.” It sounds so fond and happy, Hinata had never been aware Kageyama was capable of bringing out such a tone in his voice - and that his self-control never existed in the first place.

He grabs Kageyama’s face, surprise carved into his expression and bumps his nose against Kageyama’s, rubbing it slightly. Both of their faces flush with Hinata’s sudden movement, Kageyama closing his eyes innocently. Like he has a right to blush in the first place when he delivered a flurry of kisses the other day. 

Hinata closes in, tip of his nose still rubbing Kageyama’s as he brushes his lips against Kageyama’s and pulls him in with bravado. It’s no fireworks, it’s more of a spark and not even a particularly brilliant one, Kageyama’s lips pressed together. Of course he wouldn’t know what to do when Hinata can’t lead him on properly either. 

He pulls away and huffs. “That’s somehow disappointing. I thought a kiss like this would feel better.”

“...A kiss like this?”

“You know, we humans don’t kiss with our noses. I didn’t even know we kissed before.”

Kageyama’s eyes open widely. “You’re kidding, right? I spent two nightfalls on having a crisis because of that!”

“Well, yeah, me too, after I realized what I did. And what _you_ did! Your brothers had to tell me that you kept smooching me!” It’s weird how Hinata’s face isn’t in flames yet, judging from the heat he feels welling up. If he were a dragon, he could probably bring out some neat flames. “You don’t get embarrassed by doing that but then when I rub my nose against yours---”

“Hold up, that’s something mates do, alright!? When you did that, I was happy because I didn’t know how else I would tell you but since you did that, I didn’t have to say anything in the first place anymore!”

“I thought you don’t want us to be mates? You didn’t give me the chain?”

“I gave you my name on the first day I met you! We kissed! And _I can’t braid_ , okay!? Fine, I’m not not doing it only because I wanted my mind to be clear, I have no idea how to braid this thing into your stupid hair!”

They keep quiet for a second, both of them breathing heavily. _That’s_ what it takes to make Kageyama breathless? Yelling? Hinata will keep it in mind. “...So you admit I was right when I said ‘You don’t do things only when you can’t do them.’”

Kageyama’s glare is sharper than his hidden claws but Hinata doesn’t feel as impressed as he used to. “That’s just one reason.”

“But it is a reason.”

Kageyama deflates, burying his face at Hinata’s neck with a grumble. Point taken. Hinata can’t hide his grin. “I… tried to. On Akaashi and on Kuroo but I can’t do it. I suck at braiding. So I thought I’d have time to practice since the chain got lost. I’d do it perfectly by the time you were back and have an even prettier chain ready. ...But then you gave this one to me and I remembered that all I did was to push everything away from me. You know. Like, you leaving and being away, I had to look for something else I could do except for thinking about you and singing. ...Chances are I drive other humans mad with that, and I don’t want that.”

Hinata wraps his arms around Kageyama and mindlessly draws patterns on his back while listening to him. So he did worry about things like these. It makes Hinata realize he hasn’t treated this any differently. That Kageyama laughing would make him cry wasn’t something he considered happening but looking back on how he didn’t allow himself to think about missing Kageyama when he’d leave probably left its marks after all. “So you sing when you don’t know what to do?”

“...I sing when I am sad. It’s the only thing that helps me clear my mind.”

“It washes your sad thoughts away?” Hinata giggles and rubs his cheek against Kageyama’s. 

“Kind of. Usually.” His tail had slipped off of Hinata’s lap before and lazily hangs over the rock now, tightly pressed against Hinata’s leg. “Whenever I was sad… you’d be there and talk it away. And then, ultimately, I stopped being sad for a bit until I knew you’d leave.”

“That’s normal. I’m sad too. It’s a good thing for both of us but I guess it doesn’t mean it isn’t also sad we won’t see each other for a while. ...But you know, for situations like these, humans will often say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. If you miss someone, you think about them a lot so you end up liking them even more than you did when they were close to you.”

“That’s stupid,” Kageyama huffs, “That’s impossible. I can’t like you more than I do now.”

Hinata straightens his back and meets Kageyama’s eyes, confused as ever about why Hinata would interrupt his hug just to stare at him. Kageyama’s honesty _is_ murderous and that is probably one of the things that won’t change. Thankfully. “...You’re an idiot, Tobio.”

Before Kageyama thinks of objecting, Hinata leans in and kisses the tip of Kageyama’s nose first, sliding to his cheek, his other cheek, his forehead without listening to Kageyama’s protests once - he peppers his entire face in kisses with his lips and with his nose. 

“My name’s Hinata Shouyou, and I can’t wait to return back with strength in my arms to lift you while I repeat this,” he says and closes Kageyama’s open mouth with a kiss to his lips, leaning his nose against Kageyama’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long author notes ahead, as an extra for everyone wondering what happens next:
> 
> *kageyama still thinks human kisses feel sort of weird and proposes to hinata repeatedly to do it again until it feels better (they kiss through the entire day)
> 
> *as opposed to what i'd usually believe, they don't call each other by last name anymore starting from the end of this chapter. canonically that'll probably take another 50 years, but here it has a special sort of meaning, naturally
> 
> *kageyama does learn how to braid in the time hinata's gone but doesn't make a new braid. he feels like because his brothers helped him completing it also means they accept that kageyama's heart is with the surface and hinata. he never really stops wanting to live beside hinata but listening to his stories after he returns and looking at the photos and things he brings make him feel more like a part of it
> 
> *hinata lives with suga in tokyo who is a famous photographer! thanks to his job, he gets to travel a lot and takes hinata along as an assistant. hinataends up writing blog entries that are usually short stories about suga's photo series that get so popular due to their ~fantastic~ nature hidden in the normal world that hinata earns money with his stories after all
> 
> *it takes hinata 5 years to return to his hometown, just to find kageyama lazing around on the same rock as ever and getting fried in the hot august sun and being greeted by "you're in the way, you're blocking the sun"
> 
> *hinata has been influenced by suga's leisure lifestyle and developed a slight addiction to tattoos. the first one he got was a seahorse at the base of his neck where kageyama like to nuzzle him. the rest of his tattoos he had made to document his trip and adventures, so he got one from every place he went to. (he says it's better than a notebook that he could potentially lose. lol hinata)
> 
> *kageyama, upon hinata's return, has longer hair, down to his chin but his fringe stays the same. it aggravates hinata how he can look even better. he also grew, not quite as big as iwaizumi but still passed 2m and with that, he also got new scales covering his body. hinata is conflicted between being proud of having such a pretty boyfriend and jealous because it's obviously not fair he is THAT pretty
> 
> *hinata proposes to kageyama with "the proper ring for him": a donut. kageyama takes it gratefully before braiding hinata's hair.
> 
> and last but not least:  
> *hinata does lift kageyama. 10 cm above the ground. and pulls a muscle in his back. but hey, he did it.
> 
> oh and if you wonder, eventually hinata told suga about kageyama being a merman who believed him right away: daichi told him the exact same thing and suga treated him like a lunatic at first until he saw photos of kuroo. (yes, daichi does visit kuroo.) hinata's family doesn't learn about kageyama until natsu spies on her brother after his return. kageyama and her get along very well, to hinata's surprise. 
> 
> A LOT from me but i figured a little extra for everyone who enjoyed this fic would be alright! i hope you enjoyed it!


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